The VICE Guide to Right Now

This Bike Lock Is Supposed to Make Thieves Puke if They Cut It

Cyclists may soon start waging chemical warfare on thieves.

by Mike Pearl
Oct 21 2016, 6:45pm

Bicycle thieves are the scum of the earth. Stealing bikes is a lazy, shitty crime of opportunity that disproportionally impacts people with no money. People who try to do it deserve swift, creative punishments, that should—if at all possible—deter them from offending again, right? That's what Daniel Idzkowski, creator of the SkunkLock, is hoping his new invention will do.

As Idzkowski notes in his Indiegogo video, a thief can force his way through pretty much any standard U-lock using a cordless angle grinder. But while SkunkLock is a U-lock, it also contains some sort of pressurized mystery gas—the recipe to which Idzkowski has not yet revealed. Apparently, once an unwitting thief cuts into the lock, the gas will shoot out, engulfing them in a noxious cloud.

"The chemicals are so disgusting they induce vomit in the majority of cases, and elicit an instinctive response to run away immediately," the Indiegogo page promises.

Sure, the thought of sweet revenge on some of the world's shitheads is nice, but it's worth noting that the strategy comes with a couple of potential gaps in its efficacy. First of all, the same hardware stores where you can buy cordless angle grinders also sell respirators, which can make the doodoo gas less than effective. It's also not clear how Skunk Lock can promise that an "instinctive response to run away immediately" will really prevent a thief from finishing the job, but whatever.

Each donation of $99 or more will earn you a SkunkLock when the product is ready in June of next year. At press time, SkunkLock was about halfway toward its $20,000 fundraising goal.

Follow Mike Pearl on Twitter.

Read: How to Be a Cyclist Without Being a Dick

chemical weapons
Vice Guide to Right Now
bike locks
Skunk Lock