How to Be a Good Kisser in a Video Game

On the ups and downs of a great video game snog.
April 15, 2017, 9:55pm

The time is right. The lights are low. The CD player is playing soft, sexy tunes in the background. You're so into the moment that you barely stop to wonder why anyone still has a CD player anymore. There's a pretty face in front of you and it's slowly approaching your own, lips pursed, a gentle blush spreading across their cheeks. It's smooch time, and you're into it.

And then the face-skin disappears and you're both just disembodied eyes and tongues flapping in the breeze. Your mother never warned you about this.

Ah, you know what? It's too easy to make fun of Assassin's Creed Unity for its buggy kisses. That whole face-disappearing thing was fun, but the kissing in that game—when the faceflesh was present and accounted for—was actually really, really good. And not even with a "for games" caveat.

And it was more than just a good snog, too. The scene that everyone's hopefully seen by now—if not, do so, here—is intimate and passionate in a way that many games don't quite manage to convey, because animating two discrete entities is, frankly, a total pain in the arse.

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