The Weeknd, a guy who fucks and also parties, is at it again. Fucking, that is. And partying. Or rather, singing about these things. "Party Monster" is one of the best songs on last year's Starboy, a slinky, grimy club smash that leans in hard to The Weeknd's favorite tropes and easily transcends them with jamming-as-hell songwriting. If you've ever wondered what it is that makes The Weeknd a singular talent, it's that he can make a hook that goes "woke up by a girl I don't even know her name"—and then echoes back those words with a sweet filter on them—stick in your head. To the point that instead of questioning him you find yourself involuntarily texting your friends about going out and finding an anonymous one-night stand of your own.
The Weeknd, of course, is now supposedly dating the super famous Selena Gomez, apparent lover of Canadian men, so it may fall on his fans to pick up his mantle of waking up next to nameless hookups. (Side note: Although he's definitely referring to that Selena, the fact that he shouts out a girl with an "ass shaped like Selena" sure works now, doesn't it?) (Side side note: Can't get much less nameless than the most followed person on Instagram!) (Side side side note: It's pretty funny to imagine The Weeknd waking up next to one of the most famous people in the world and not knowing who it is, though.) So cue up this video, take good stock of the "Party Monster" cake, and then play it in the background at your own party. It's all grainy and cool-looking, so everyone will think you're artsy and discovered some sweet neo-noir film from the 80s, probably. Anyway, it's party time!
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