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I Got High, Blown, and Robbed When I Was a Pizza Delivery Guy

"I was 17, scared, and totally unsure what to do with that situation. But at the end of the day they were just a bunch of intoxicated, naked adults that just wanted some pizza."

by Anonymous
May 20 2017, 1:55pm

Welcome back to Restaurant Confessionals, where we talk to the unheard voices of the restaurant industry from both the front-of-house (FOH) and back-of-house (BOH) about what really goes on behind the scenes at your favorite establishments.

I was 16 years old when I started working as a pizza delivery guy. I ended up doing it off and on for nine years. The place where I worked catered to an almost 100-percent college crowd and was right in the heart of a large university. It was pretty different from your average pizza chain—both in geography and the fact that we were open until 3:30 AM. That led to a bunch of debaucherous situations.

I've been offered shots and beers. If I could shotgun one in four seconds or less, I'd get a $20 tip. The more you participated, the bigger your tip was. Usually a shift ran from seven at night until five the next morning—we basically delivered nonstop. We tried to get every delivery out within 15–20 minutes depending on how busy it was, but there was no specific timeframe. We could let it slide if someone wanted to stop and hang out for a while because there were so many drivers. Everyone kept their own tips, so it worked out for everyone.

READ: Delivery Pizza Is One of the Most Dangerous Jobs in America

Once, my girlfriend ordered a pizza and made sure I'd be the one to deliver it. I just went over to her house and we fooled around for an hour. That was her excuse to get me over. But crazy things on deliveries weren't out of the ordinary, especially after midnight.

Another time, when I was still new to the job, I was delivering to what we referred to as the "cougar community." There were always a bunch of lonely housewives there drinking in the hot tub. I got to the house and saw a sign on the door that said, "Come out back." I went out there and there were two guys—probably in their twenties—and these 40-year-old ladies, all naked together in the hot tub. They definitely were just trying to convince me to get in there with them. They told me to come back after work and hang out. I was 17, scared, and totally unsure what to do with that situation. But at the end of the day they were just a bunch of intoxicated, naked adults that just wanted some pizza.

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