Sun News Is a Quirky DIY Television Station

A tech-savvy Sun News segment on digital art.

A young, up-and-coming television network of rabble-rousers who go by the name of “Sun News,” has filed a “must-carry application” to the CRTC, a bureaucratic gang of homies who oversee all of Canadian media for whatever reason. If Sun News’ application is successful, cable providers will have to send out the Sun News signal to homes across the nation, along with the standard collection of TVO, CBC, CTV, Global, whateva, whateva.  Seems like not so big of a deal right? Let’s let the underdog have a seat at the big boy table! Well, apparently that table is full, because 25,000 angry Canadians believe that this application is just cause for a total fucking freak-out. Yup, that’s how many people have signed a petition stating that they don’t want Sun News—a charmingly indie, DIY news network—anywhere near their beloved, stuffy, and homogenized corporate media. It’s almost as if everyone forgot that Sun News broke the story about the drunk teen in Quebec who got eaten by stray dogs.

While Sun News has been called “Fox News of the North” by its various haters, the reality is that the network is just a quirky, fun little catalog of programming that has the same level of warmth as a neighbourhood comedy show or a one-act play put on by a community theatre. It’s just a bit of silly fun. They have nowhere near the production level of Fox News, they have not created any mega-pundits like Bill O’Reilly, nor have they shown the world a dramatically intense, slow emotional breakdown of a presumably real human being in the way that Fox News gave the world Glenn Beck: an ongoing work that can only be described as conceptual performance video art. But don’t take my analogies as proof, just look at the numbers. Sun News only draws about 0.1% of Canadian TV viewers whereas the monolithic CBC News network takes home 1.4%. If Sun News isn’t indie, I don’t know what is.

And yet, the supporters of the petition to banish Sun News from popular Canadian airwaves say that Canadians “do not like or watch Sun News.” Plus, if the application is successful Sun News is entitled to a ton of new, TV subscription money. So is this all just a ploy by the low-budget news network to bail itself out of a whole lot of debt? Maybe. But isn’t debt what the artist lifestyle is all about? Just apply for a grant, Sun News! You’re totally cool enough for it!

Anyway, given the criticism that Sun News’ jovial coverage of Canadian events is somehow “divisive, biased content that undermines Canadian values” I decided to put their young network, whose audience likely equals most medium-sized music blogs, under the microscope.

Screenshots of poorly typed e-mails are the new live calls. I learned that paradigm shift from Sun News.

Ah, here we go. Sun News is taking on the plight of a politically confused grade six student who goes to a “schhol” in Eganville, Ontario. In this segment, Sun News “personalities” Ezra Levant and Kris Sims go on and on about Idle No More—a movement designed to call attention to the incredibly underappreciated issues of native oppression and environmental damage in Canada—as propagandistic lefty bull-crap. A classic moment of Sun News-style rebellion. There’s nothing more punk rock than taking down the little guy who has been held in place by the power-hungry fist of the elite! It has always been a part of rebellious, artistic subcultures to challenge the status quo. So I see what you’re doing Sun News, and I appreciate your avant-garde opinions.

Here’s Ezra again, the same Sun News anchor who commented on Theresa Spence getting “fatter” during her hunger strike in the previously mentioned segment, except now he’s doing the Harlem Shake to show that he totally appreciates youth culture and hip internet trends. During this segment, Ezra literally does not take his eyes off the main dancer’s chest, because apparently he thinks that type of unwavering demonstration of the male gaze is one of the key moves in the Harlem Shake. And, of course, he is physically demonstrating the institutionally oppressive conflict between men and women that pervades modern society.

Shake, boob-stare, repeat. Shake, boob-stare, repeat.

This is the caliber of entertainment that you are only going to find on a cutting-edge and truly Dadaist outlet like Sun News. Before watching this segment, I had never observed anything on TV that made me feel as if I was staring at a urinal. But I have finally found that type of artistic shockwave in this Sun News “Harlem Shake” segment. I am still blown away by this high level of performance art.

This segment is called “UN Sticks Hand In Canada.” Whoa! Did I click on erotic, S&M international relations fan fiction by accident? That is some progressive headline writing. The writing team at Sun News truly are challenging Canada’s traditionally prudish sexual attitudes with a line like that.

He's just as confused as we are, and that's the art!

As far as the actual segment goes, it opens with a greeting from a man in a suit who  I presume is a local, non-union actor. The man appears to have never seen a camera before in his life. Don’t worry, bud! Inhale, exhale. It’s just like the improv classes at your comedy college except now you’re on the TV, reading the news to like 100 people max. But if I can give you one more piece of advice, you’re reading those lines from the teleprompter as if you’re a low-rent Shakespearean actor who has been hanging around Michael Richards. It truly sounds like bad English acting mixed with Kramer. Just watch the video and tell me I’m not right. It’s distracting, but at the same time, historically, actors have played with language and cadence to perfect their roles and make them more three-dimensional. So, bravo sir. I am in awe of your craft.

If you’re still not convinced that Sun News is a contemporary art project that more closely resembles a creative collective of bohemian provocateurs than a mainstream media outlet, here’s a segment they did called #CBCPORNTITLES. In it, they asked their readers to come up with titles for a completely hypothetical CBC porn-based TV show. After providing a PG example of how this highly elaborate Mad Libs-style game works (“Hickey Night in Canada”), Ezra Levant perv’d out on Sun News’ young, attractive, female social media correspondent as they went through all the porny suggestions that poured through Sun News’ risqué hashtag.  Here’s an example of one:

The grand master of parody, Ezra Levant.

Uhh… what? Despite writing for a youth-centric and forward-thinking publication, I am personally challenged by the audacity and bold controversy-seeking behaviours of Sun News in this segment. Ezra goes on to question the kind of underwear Wendy Mesley wears, and that was about the precise time where I almost turned the segment off entirely. You don’t mess with the Mes’. But, I recognize that being a cutting-edge societal provocateur like Sun News can sometimes lead to inexcusable offensiveness, and that’s kinda what art is all about right? All that said, they won me back with this humorous, dirty riddle: What is the funniest porn parody title for

, the classic CBC show? Showcase logo appears in the bottom-right, and inadvertently takes some of the burn.

Ah man! What’s it gonna be? North of 60 Naked Transvestites? North of Peter North’s 60 Incher? Nope, Sun News dropped an even more hilarious porn parody on its audience: North of 69. Absolutely brilliant. I, for one, am dumbfounded and highly impressed.

After that, they went on to suggest that “Hooker Night at Canada,” “The Beachcummers” (a reference to some show I am too young to know about), and “The Nature of Thongs” are all fantastic examples of porny, yet imaginary, CBC show titles that could bring in the lols. And we all know that it’s nearly impossible to argue with porn-delivered lols.

So there you have it, Sun News is clearly just a group of controversially minded contemporary artists who are looking to provoke and expose the taboos of our prissy Canadian culture, by presenting intentionally off-base opinions, and discussing staid issues that prevent our country from moving forward. Sun News is even aiming their shit-starting death-ray at the CBC, as they’re now alleging that the public institution is a “hotbed of sexual harassment." Now, far be it from me to question cutting-edge performance art, but even this seems like it may be pushing the boundaries of artistic expression. You won't qualify for arts grants if you're going at the CBC like this, Sun!

While it will be interesting to see what kind of public spectacle that inter-media accusation turns into; to the CRTC I say, go ahead and let Sun News become a mandatory station for paying Canadian television subscribers. I will be sure to watch them religiously as I flick through my Twitter feed, Facebook notifications, e-mail inbox, instant messages, Instagram feed, Xbox Live friend requests, and Vine feed while continuing to not actually have a cable subscription, because you can download and stream everything from obscure Russian websites anyway.

Follow Patrick on Twitter: @patrickmcguire More about Canadian art:

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