jay cutler

Is This Jay Cutler's Ass?

We try to get to the, er, bottom of this mystery.

by Sean Newell
Mar 28 2017, 6:31pm

Kristin Cavallari, known for being a reality TV star, a person somehow involved in fashion, and for being the better half of current free agent quarterback Jay Cutler, posted an interesting picture to Instagram earlier today. As you can see, there is a nude man standing on some kind of wooden porch or balcony, welcoming the ocean breeze with his bare loins.

The first instinct is to assume it is Jay Cutler. The little we can make of his facial profile, it seems like a safe bet, but there's just no way of knowing for sure. Being unfamiliar with the vagaries of Jay Cutler's backside, what we can see is mostly of no use; NFL uniforms only reveal so much. Further confusing this matter of supreme importance is that Cavallari quoted and tagged former NFL tight end [beat] Tony Scheffler in the caption. It reads "Good times, no tan lines. Let the sea set you free."

Scheffler and Cutler were both drafted by the Denver Broncos in 2006 and the two enjoyed early success, forming a fast friendship. So, what's happening here? Is Kristin Cavallari posting a nude photograph of her husband's friend who happens to be on vacation with them? Or is Cavallari posting a nude photograph of her husband embracing his friend's words of wisdom?

It is a mystery.

Wrapped—or unwrapped, as it were—in a riddle.

There just may never be a way of kno—

DOOOOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAAAARE.