This Kid Inhaled a Squeaky Doggy Toy and Now Squeaks the Music of a Generation
The internet is usually a place of perpetual rage and frustration. It is a tupperware container with a missing lid, and that tupperware contains leftover memes covered in anger sauce. But every now and then we are graced by wonderous moments that lay bare the human condition. Behold this video of a kid named Anthony who inhaled a squeaky doggy toy.
Like the ambient electronic intro of Stranger Things, this mystery opens with a sad song tittering from the chest of a happy child. Squeeeeeak. The conflict is established. The plot unfolds with a simple question from a concerned mother character. “Where are you, Anthony?” The sincerity of the query implies, “What is this Twilight Zone-dimension you have taken us to, Anthony? What madness have you unleashed?” He responds with a dead smile, “In the emergency room.”Squeeeeeak. Why? Why? Why, Anthony!? “Because I inhaled a doggy toy.” Squeeeeeak.
This is a Greek tragedy. Anthony is the boy who flew too close to the sun, only by “flew” we mean “inhaled” and by “sun” we mean “squeaky doggy toy.” We have all been Anthony. Anthony is inside of each of us, squeaking out the breathes of our greatest hopes and dreams.
Devin Pacholik squeeeeeaks on Twitter. Follow him.