Illustration: Priyanka Paul
This July, we’re heating things up with Sex-Rated: The VICE Guide to Sex in India. Come with us as we dive deep into Indian sexuality, as well as cherry-pick some of the best videos and stories about sex from VICE around the world. Read more here.
There’s a story among the staffers at Lovetreats, a sex toy website, about a man who asked customer service if the person delivering the toy he had ordered could meet him at a bus stop near his house. Obviously, he explained, as he lived with his parents.This is sex in India in a nutshell. We want to experiment but we are still self-conscious. VICE decided to ask the people at Imbesharam and Lovetreats, both India-based sex toys websites, the weirdest requests people have made.1. “I’m currently talking to two guys and can’t decide which to pick. One has a huge dick and the other excites me with his dirty talks.”2. “I have used the toy and I don’t like it. It’s not what I was looking for. Can I wash it and return it?”
Staff: Absolutely not! I am sure you can understand it is super unhygienic.2. “My girlfriend is feminist. I fear that we cannot last long, what should I do?”
Staff: Unless you are a male chauvinist pig, you have nothing to fear.3.“Do u have any site in which girls or guys are willing to have one night stand?”
Staff: “Nope.”
Man: “Ohhhhh OK. There should be a site where you sign in, update your details like, dislike, and if you got match and if interested then why not one night?”
Staff: “Maybe you can start it?”
Man: “Don’t get in my nerves.”4. “I need sex massage. Can you help me? I need boobs, breast? Can I have lady for sex, can you arrange?”
Staff: Sorry, we cannot help you with any of your requests.5. “Give me something that will make my partner want to have sex with me.”
Staff: “Sorry, we can’t help you with that. We hope you know that what you want is illegal.”6. “Me n my gf have been in a relation[ship] for 8 years, we still haven't had sex cz we both are scared that something might go wrong (pregnancy related). So i just want to ask how to have sex without the slightest chance of her conceiving.
Hello can I get a reply? I will be travelling after tomorrow so I want to make this day special.”7. “I have this habit of reading my girlfriend’s chats. In one of the chats, she was telling her friend about experiencing multiple orgasms using a vibrator. Whenever we have sex she hardly experiences any orgasm.”8. “My ex-boyfriend keeps calling me all the time, the other night he called me and talked to me for half an hour. I dint want him to keep calling as I have my own life and my husband with whom I am happy, what should I do?”9. “I have this rare fetish. I’m asexual and single but I enjoy flashing my fun bags. It’s fun to see guys go drooling over me.”10. “I got intimate with my bf once, one year ago. Now I am not with him anymore. If I marry someone else then will my husband get to know that I am not a virgin anyhow.”
There’s a story among the staffers at Lovetreats, a sex toy website, about a man who asked customer service if the person delivering the toy he had ordered could meet him at a bus stop near his house. Obviously, he explained, as he lived with his parents.
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Staff: Absolutely not! I am sure you can understand it is super unhygienic.2. “My girlfriend is feminist. I fear that we cannot last long, what should I do?”
Staff: Unless you are a male chauvinist pig, you have nothing to fear.3.“Do u have any site in which girls or guys are willing to have one night stand?”
Staff: “Nope.”
Man: “Ohhhhh OK. There should be a site where you sign in, update your details like, dislike, and if you got match and if interested then why not one night?”
Staff: “Maybe you can start it?”
Man: “Don’t get in my nerves.”4. “I need sex massage. Can you help me? I need boobs, breast? Can I have lady for sex, can you arrange?”
Staff: Sorry, we cannot help you with any of your requests.5. “Give me something that will make my partner want to have sex with me.”
Staff: “Sorry, we can’t help you with that. We hope you know that what you want is illegal.”6. “Me n my gf have been in a relation[ship] for 8 years, we still haven't had sex cz we both are scared that something might go wrong (pregnancy related). So i just want to ask how to have sex without the slightest chance of her conceiving.
Hello can I get a reply? I will be travelling after tomorrow so I want to make this day special.”7. “I have this habit of reading my girlfriend’s chats. In one of the chats, she was telling her friend about experiencing multiple orgasms using a vibrator. Whenever we have sex she hardly experiences any orgasm.”8. “My ex-boyfriend keeps calling me all the time, the other night he called me and talked to me for half an hour. I dint want him to keep calling as I have my own life and my husband with whom I am happy, what should I do?”9. “I have this rare fetish. I’m asexual and single but I enjoy flashing my fun bags. It’s fun to see guys go drooling over me.”10. “I got intimate with my bf once, one year ago. Now I am not with him anymore. If I marry someone else then will my husband get to know that I am not a virgin anyhow.”