'Can I Have Lady for Sex, Can You Arrange?'
From returning used sex toys to demanding a website for hookups, we asked Indian sex toy vendors about the weirdest requests they’ve received.
Illustration: Priyanka Paul
This July, we’re heating things up with Sex-Rated: The VICE Guide to Sex in India. Come with us as we dive deep into Indian sexuality, as well as cherry-pick some of the best videos and stories about sex from VICE around the world. Read more here.
There’s a story among the staffers at Lovetreats, a sex toy website, about a man who asked customer service if the person delivering the toy he had ordered could meet him at a bus stop near his house. Obviously, he explained, as he lived with his parents.
This is sex in India in a nutshell. We want to experiment but we are still self-conscious. VICE decided to ask the people at Imbesharam and Lovetreats, both India-based sex toys websites, the weirdest requests people have made.
1. “I’m currently talking to two guys and can’t decide which to pick. One has a huge dick and the other excites me with his dirty talks.”
2. “I have used the toy and I don’t like it. It’s not what I was looking for. Can I wash it and return it?”
Staff: Absolutely not! I am sure you can understand it is super unhygienic.
2. “My girlfriend is feminist. I fear that we cannot last long, what should I do?”
Staff: Unless you are a male chauvinist pig, you have nothing to fear.
3.“Do u have any site in which girls or guys are willing to have one night stand?”
Man: “Ohhhhh OK. There should be a site where you sign in, update your details like, dislike, and if you got match and if interested then why not one night?”
Staff: “Maybe you can start it?”
Man: “Don’t get in my nerves.”
4. “I need sex massage. Can you help me? I need boobs, breast? Can I have lady for sex, can you arrange?”
Staff: Sorry, we cannot help you with any of your requests.
5. “Give me something that will make my partner want to have sex with me.”
Staff: “Sorry, we can’t help you with that. We hope you know that what you want is illegal.”
6. “Me n my gf have been in a relation[ship] for 8 years, we still haven't had sex cz we both are scared that something might go wrong (pregnancy related). So i just want to ask how to have sex without the slightest chance of her conceiving.
Hello can I get a reply? I will be travelling after tomorrow so I want to make this day special.”
7. “I have this habit of reading my girlfriend’s chats. In one of the chats, she was telling her friend about experiencing multiple orgasms using a vibrator. Whenever we have sex she hardly experiences any orgasm.”
8. “My ex-boyfriend keeps calling me all the time, the other night he called me and talked to me for half an hour. I dint want him to keep calling as I have my own life and my husband with whom I am happy, what should I do?”
9. “I have this rare fetish. I’m asexual and single but I enjoy flashing my fun bags. It’s fun to see guys go drooling over me.”
10. “I got intimate with my bf once, one year ago. Now I am not with him anymore. If I marry someone else then will my husband get to know that I am not a virgin anyhow.”