Today's VICE question of the day comes courtesy of Anthony Scaramucci who lasted a mere ten days in his job as communications director at the White House. That's barely even long enough to establish a morning coffee and shit routine, let alone introduce a medium-sized houseplant to your desk. That said, in that brief period he did manage to call the chief of staff, Reince Priebus, "a fucking paranoid schizophrenic" and say that unlike Steve Bannon, the chief strategist, "I'm not trying to suck my own cock". His miserable tenure has left many us wondering how getting fired that quickly is even possible, especially for such a seemingly mild-mannered professional.
So, we went out on the streets to ask people – what is the shortest amount of time you've ever had a job for?
VICE: Hi. What's the shortest amount of time you've had a job for?
Matt: I had a job for a day once.
Nice. Where were you working?
It was a Wetherspoons, in Cornwall
I went there and did like an hour of work and was like "nah this isn't for me". The bar I was working at closed down and a friend said, "hey come work here you get loads of hours".
But you only managed one.
Why was it so bad?
Everything really. The people, the management, the place. Yeah. It wasn't fun. On the trial day, I put my best black shirt on, I went in there and you had to do an induction and everything. They sat us down to watch these safety videos from the 80s.
Did you manage to serve any drinks in this one hour stint?
They wouldn't even allow me to serve, I had to "learn" by polishing glasses, even though I'd been a bartender for years.
So you just walked out?
I stormed out. I was like, "right, I'm leaving, I'm not doing this any more". I walked out but I left my bike there, so I had to go back in and say, "I'm getting my bike, but I'm still angry".
You showed them.
Hey Peter, what's the shortest time you've manage to cling on to a job for?
Peter: Eight days.
What was the gig?
I was working in a vineyard in New Zealand and my hamstrings hurt too much.
Sweet. What was that like?
Well basically, you don't want any of the buds growing on the trunk, just on the vines, so you have to rub those off. The job is called bud rubbing.
Did you have to demonstrate bud rubbing prowess in the interview?
Well, not exactly. It's usually a one hand approach and you go from the base, all the way right up.
So you left because your legs hurt?
Well you have to bend down all day long, going up and down. It was just way too painful.
What about your wrists?
I have strong wrist action so that was fine. Years of practise. I work at Amazon now so it's all good.
Much kinder to their employees there.
Hey. What's the shortest job you've had?
Hannah: Five days.
What was the job?
I was working in a packing factory, unpacking boxes of 12 Elmlea long-life cream into boxes of six.
Well after five days they changed it to packing salami sticks instead. We had to hang them on a string. I was not having that so I left.
Are you vegetarian?
I am vegetarian so that put me off.
What were your colleagues like?
It was me and loads of Polish guys who liked listening to power ballads a lot. I couldn't really handle it.
You hung salami on a string whilst listening to power ballads?
Yeah, at six in the morning.
How did you quit?
I just didn't turn up the next day. The change from Elmlea cream to meat sticks was too much. There was also only one CD of power ballads and these guys got the words wrong. A lot.
What's the shortest job you've ever had?
Jack: Literally half a day.
Well there is a good reason for it. All my mates had jobs at Leon, the fast food chain place, so I went to the trial, and got it. But I'm also an actor and I got the call the next morning saying "you've got a job".
Did you tell them?
I don't think I said anything, I think I just ran away.
What was Leon like?
I wouldn't eat at Leon. Nothing bad, but like you see trays on the floor, stuff like that you know.
What was your acting gig?
A film called Old Boys that's out this year.
Is this the big break?
It's a nice British, independent film about a boarding school in the 1980s, so it was pretty fun. Better than Leon.
Hi Aniket, what's the shortest amount of time you spent in a job?
Aniket: Three weeks for me.
That's not too bad.
It was working at an incubator for food.
Well an incubator for food start ups, like an agency. Which sounded cool on paper but actually when I got there, it was really dull.
How did you leave?
I sent them an email. I said, "no thank you".
Were they angry?
They were a little pissed off but not too bad.