We’ve all made regrettable food choices on the wrong side of several gin and tonics. You might be off gluten or trying to go low FODMAP in the sober light of day, but throw some free-poured spirits and a £2.99 donner and chips deal into the mix, and those eating preferences quickly change.
Spare a thought for a man in Australia whose recent drunchies order ended in regrets far worse than chili sauce stains or bad morning breath.
On Remembrance Day last month, Kole Olsen swung by a McDonald’s drive-thru in Sydney at around 5 AM following a night of drinking. Evidently looking for a large, greasy snack to mop up the evening’s libations, he placed an order for 200 Chicken McNuggets. When staff informed Olsen that they couldn’t serve him the nuggets due to them not being on the breakfast menu—because, to reiterate, it was 5 in the morning and a Sunday—he became irate, telling them: “I want my fucking nuggets!” and “I am going to fuck you all up.”
Olsen proceeded to honk his horn and drive in laps around the drive-thru lane in protest, before eventually composing himself somewhat and placing another order, this time a marginally less batshit crazy request for 200 hash browns.
The McDonald’s workers, who by this point all deserved medals for customer service in extremely harrowing circumstances, served Olsen his supersized breakfast (it came to 230 Australian Dollars), but locked the doors of the restaurant to try and keep their drunk customer at bay. Olsen then demanded a refund but couldn’t remember what he had ordered, so insisted on being reimbursed for 200 large fries and 200 Big Macs.
Police were eventually called to the McDonald’s and Olsen was found to be three and a half times over the legal driving limit.
In an unusual plot twist to this already extremely mad story, at his court sentencing this week, Olsen claimed that he is actually vegan, before pleading guilty to high range drink driving and accepting a 1,000 Australian Dollar fine for the incident.
Court magistrate Daniel Reiss probably said it best when he described Olsen’s behaviour “crazy, bizarre, and completely out-of-control."