Dear Vice - I Want to Help You!

Dear Vice,
I am sending you this letter and card not for you to be all "OOH" and "AHH" and impressed with my work, honestly I don't care. I'm writing to get your attention. I want to help you out somehow—any kind of work. My hands are itching for some action, not to speak of my head! I'm burning with desire to get involved in something creative! No, not exactly, but still—yeah, I am! And I'm not asking for money. I'll do anything for free!

If you are not the right person to help, to assist, if I have misunderstood your position, then pass on my letter! I'm sure there is someone moaning about too little time, too big of piles of shit to do or something…

I've been in Montreal for about two months now, and in the end of November I'm getting married. Before that I spent four years in London doing my degree—having fun, partying, working, being broke, and visiting the Old Blue Last, the Vice pub. I experienced a lot, traveled many places in Europe, have loads of friends, am super social, a happy being, creative, good at what I do, and experienced in working for free, HAHAHA! But I lack an environment to go to in the morning. My future husband leaves in the morning for his job at Bombing Science, and I'm left trying to keep myself busy. If you can be bothered to, though you are probably very busy and I'm taking up your time making you read this, I'm sure you will find something you didn't have time to do yourself, etc…

I can flash my ass, be the clown at the office (I'm sure there already is one), bring you coffee in the morning, a lunch pack, make good food, or just sit and shut up. Anything, really! If this is such an unorthodox way to offer my help or approach you, then I'm sorry, but this is Vice, isn't it?!? And by the look of the selection on the magazine shelves, I did not have much choice.

So please, please, please—let me in! Let me be of assistance. At least give me a try! Next time I'll bribe you. I'll give you a T-shirt, or a dress, or something!

Kind regards and best desperate wishes from me, 
CHRISTINA LEDANG
Montreal, QC

PS: Don't bother to read all the letters; they're all the same—just different typefaces to soothe your mind. I'm only trying to make myself more interesting!