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Buy a Load of Cut-Price Lindt and Roses the Day After Vally Day

Treat the most important person in your life: you
yumma yumma yumma
(Photo via Flickr/Alpha)

THE ONLY TRUE VALOUR OF THE DAY. THE ONLY TRUE KING WE ANOINT. THEY WHO WALK INTO TESCO METRO AND BUY THE CUT-PRICE VALENTINE’S CHOCOLATE AND A LIMP BOUQUET OF ROSES FOR THE FLAT ARE THE ONLY TRUE CONQUEROR. GOBBLE YOUR LINDTS, SWEET FEBRUARY CHILD, AND INHALE THE MUSK OF VICTORY.

another go?