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Photos of Every Single Guy in a Tiny Beanie Now That It’s Winter

As bears shuffle into caves to hibernate, men unroll hats that barely cover their ears. Over three hours, we saw about 50. Genuinely.

by Daisy Jones; photos by Christopher Bethell
05 December 2019, 9:15am

All photography by Christopher Bethell

It's officially winter. Not that weird half-winter that happens around Halloween, but the proper sort. We know this not just because we keep track of the months, but because it's so cold that we've started turning the heating on even though it's £300 per day or whatever it is now, people keep posting blurry selfies from Winter Wonderland and that person you were casually seeing in summer is now your exclusive boyfriend / girlfriend because neither of you can be arsed to leave the house.

But even if we hadn't paid attention to any of that, there's one thing that is always a clear indicator that winter has properly arrived: Beanies. Not any old beanies. The tiny ones. The tiny teeny little minature ones. The ones that are rolled up and rest just over the ears of whatever guy (usually in their 20s, usually in a puffa jacket or round glasses, very often white) is wearing the knitted garment. You know exactly the sort of beanies I'm talking about. The ones that make you wonder how they are staying on the head of some lad with a shaved head (they can't be pinning it on??).

All of this got us thinking. We know there are lots of guys wearing lots of beanies between the months of November and March (and you know what, the summer months as well to be honest, the tiny beanie-wearers never rest.) But how many of them are there? Where are they most likely to be seen? We sent a photographer, Christopher Bethell, to three different London locations – Shoreditch, Soho and Peckham – for one hour each on the same chilly December day. Below are our findings, with a few examples underneath.

SHOREDITCH: 31 beanies spotted. An average of one tiny beanie every two minutes.

Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
1575293740153-Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE-2
Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Shoreditch Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE

SOHO: 17 beanies spotted. An average of one tiny beanie every three and a half minutes.

Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Soho Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE

PECKHAM: 13 beanies spotted. An average of one tiny beanie every four and a half minutes.

Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE
Chris Bethell Peckham Tiny Beanie Photographs VICE

To conclude: in news that will surprise absolutely nobody, there were a lot of tiny beanies. As our scientific ~ study ~ shows, most of them were found in Shoreditch, which is also the proud home of things like The Big Chill Bar, Box Park and a sea of dudes in cargo jackets who work in the 'creative' part of advertising and run Instagram accounts that are just photographs of discarded objects in the street with white borders.

The least amount of tiny beanies were found in Peckham, which could be because it was day time, and most of the tiny beanie wearers come out after dark in the smoking area when they want to ask if you've ever heard of a guy called A.G. Cook and could they borrow a light and a rizla and a filter and actually some tobacco haha? Anyway, until next time.

@daisythejones / @christopherbethell

Tagged:
Fashion
Menswear
Men's fashion