Social Media

Every Valid Reason to Unfollow Someone on Social Media

In six words...

by Anna Goldfarb
01 September 2017, 9:02am

Illustrations by Brandon Celi

Just as you'd ask a belligerent guest to leave your house party, sometimes you have to kick assholes off your Insta-feeds and Twitter timelines. Hate-filled political rants, idiotic memes, unchecked racism, icky oversharing –– at some point, enough is enough. We asked friends and co-workers what sent them over the edge and made them finally unfollow someone. Here's what they said.

"So many identical selfies. Chill, bro." - DJ Freelance Love, 27

"Nobody cares about your fucking marathons." - Michael, 33

"Posted selfie wearing 'proud introvert' shirt." - Eve, 23

"They started earnestly retweeting Julian Assange." - Larry, 29

"Shut up about your food blog." - Lauren, 25

"Oh good, you started CrossFit. Wow." - Brian, 43

"All lives matter? All the unfollows." - Tamika, 24

"Retweet replied every damn Trump tweet." - Sara, 22

"Would tweet at porn stars. C'mon." - Dani, 25

"Your baby's cute. Fuck your baby." - Milli, 26

"Bragged about paying off student loans." - Pilot, 29

"Horrible food pictures from trendy restaurants." - Mike, 38

"Still making "but her emails!" jokes." - Amelia, 37

"She was too thirsty for likes." - Nissa, 33

"Anything "relationship goals" or "couple goals af." - Ashley, 23

"Their retweets were trash, not funny." - Swabreen, 33

"SO. MUCH. Whiny white privilege...DAMN." - Alyson, 42

"She found Jesus but lost fun." - Kelly, 23

"Thought Planned Parenthood sold baby parts." - Katie, 35

"His mediocre band got too successful." - Allie, 24

"Comments were just opportunities to gaslight." - Sarah, 36

"Dated, trusted, fucked, then he ghosted." - Kerry, 33

"Let me play devil's advocate here..." - Sara, 33

"Actually. Actually. Actually. Actually. Actually. Actually." - Maura, 28

"Her feminist platform was for profit." - Mary Kate, 29

"Her snarkiness when Joan Rivers died." - Courtney, 39

"Ever saying Bernie would have won." - Dawn, 34

"Would not stop talking about fluoride." - Kevin, 31

"All performative piety all the time." - Jill, 33

"Supported guns and Bibles in schools." - Courtney, 38

"Fan of Philadelphia Eagles and Trump." - Casey, 35

"No one's life is that perfect." - Amanda, 39

"I couldn't handle the wine memes." - Alex, 33

"Always on vacation. It was annoying." - Jake, 33

"We hadn't talked in seven years." - Jenn, 27

"Sick of her unhinged transphobic rants." - Dennis, 34

"Constantly promoted her shitty articles. Nope." - Lindsey, 23

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