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A Small Minority of Idiots

We Need to Talk About Carl Jenkinson

Why Carl Jenkinson – decent right back, shit fisherman, Arsenal megafan – needs to come back where he belongs.

Carl Jenkinson there, celebrating an under-21s call up like he's won the World Cup (Photo via Instagram)

Good news for Arsenal fans: talented 19-year-old full back Hector Bellerin is set to sign a new contract. He's certainly a prospect, the kid. Patrolling the Gunners' right flank with the hyper-confident air of an oversexed Spanish exchange student, he has – in the absence of a disintegrating Mathieu Debuchy – put in a series of decent performances. Accordingly, Arsène Wenger has decided to head off any questions about his future with the reward of a fresh four-year deal.

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This deal has raised its own question, though. The real question, the question on every Arsenal supporter's lips: what does it mean for Carl Jenkinson?

It is hard not to love Jenkinson. In the current footballing environment – in among the endless contractually obligated marketing duties, first-team #Twitter commitments and hypnotically strained, media-trained interviews – he is a loveable misfit, a precious and yet unpolished gem. The antithesis of Bellerin's assured, continental sexiness, Carl looks as if he'd be most comfortable on a big night out in Watford, moonwalking around Oceana with a VK in hand, mouthing all the lyrics to "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" while blissfully oblivious to all other punters. As other footballers roll into the club car park in their Bentley Continentals or Rolls Royce Phantoms, one imagines that Carl pootles up in a two-tone Ford Ka, blaring the old Blue Peter theme tune out of his knackered, turn-of-the-millennium soundsystem. He's not composed enough to be corporate, nor is he mannered enough to represent the game's materialism. Rather, in an entirely accidental sense, he's something like the antidote to affected modern football.

Take his idiosyncratic approach to the media. While the vast majority of his teammates react with the same well-drilled dullness to every question ever posed to them, Carl cannot help but give journalists odd, endearing insights into his life. In one Q&A with Arsenal TV, he revealed that he had nicknamed his Dad "Desert Storm Steve". Right mate. A few minutes later, he was asked whether he would spend time alone in space if it meant Arsenal winning a trophy. His response? "All I ever talk about is going to space. I've looked into it already… Virgin Galactic!"

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More recently, he was interviewed by the Guardian's Jacob Steinberg and queried about the day-to-day happenings of his season-long loan at West Ham. Reflecting on his downtime – possibly unprompted – he disclosed that he had been doing a lot of fishing with Mark Noble (already odd). He then admitted that the West Ham midfielder was much better than him, and much better equipped; Noble owns "a souped-up fisherman's van", apparently, while Jenkinson has to make do "sleeping in a tent by the lake freezing cold".

If this revelation makes Noble seem somewhat mean-spirited – surely there's enough room in that souped-up van for two, the bastard – it couldn't reflect better on his ill-prepared friend. Unpretentious, uncannily candid and an absolute amateur at fishing. That's our Carl.

"Our Carl" about sums it up for the supporters. When he first joined Arsenal, his family's love of the club was much-publicised. For a while, though, it was as if he was just that: a fan. As if the manager had – in the wake of sales, bans and ridiculous injuries – simply grabbed a bandy-legged 19-year-old conveniently dressed in full kit on matchday and stuck him on the pitch to face the petrifying skills of the top flight. As his performances gradually improved and he started to look like a proper Premier League player, so his fellow Gunners began to appreciate that he was far from an amateur footballer. Soon enough, they also learnt that he'd bought a slab outside the Emirates and had "Grandad, hope you're proud" engraved on it. Grown men wept. The player-fan instantly became a true fans' favourite.

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He has become a fans' favourite at West Ham for different reasons. Sure, they may well like his unaffected demeanour at Upton Park but he's a favourite there because he's performed consistently and become an excellent, effective right back. After a frustrating lay-off at the beginning of the season, he has gone on to make 22 Premier League starts for the Hammers (plus three sub appearances); praised for his contribution in attack as well as his necessary diligence in defence, his starts have yielded nine wins, eight draws, seven clean sheets and two assists – not bad, especially when playing for a team otherwise in ninth.

Throw in four starts and some good performances in the Hammers' decent FA Cup run, and it looks like a legitimately impressive season for Carl. He might spend his spare time thinking about intergalactic travel and angling paraphernalia, but he's fully focused on the pitch; it's little wonder West Ham are rumoured to want him permanently.

Consequently, I implore you: we need to talk about Jenkinson. When he had a great run of games in the middle of the 2012-13 season and earned an England cap, we needed to talk about him. When he helped Arsenal keep a clean sheet in their 2-0 away win at Bayern Munich, we needed to talk about him. When he banged in his first goal for the club against Norwich before peeling away and celebrating like he'd won the Champions League single-handedly, we really, really needed to talk about him. He's loveable, he's a fans' favourite, but he's also a player whose development has been hurtling ever onward since he signed for Arsenal. He deserves for that development to continue with the club he loves, not be stifled by the mid table.

Besides, if one thinks about Debuchy's injury record and Bellerin's youth – it is important to remember that overplaying youngsters can cause chronic injury – it would be ill-advised for Arsenal to let Carl go. The Gunners have suffered from crippling injury crises over the last few seasons, not least this winter when there wasn't a fit centre back to be found. How the team could have done with Jenkinson then.

All things considered, the loss of an amiable right back from Arsenal would be more than just a cause for mourning for his fellow fans; it could be a real blow to the squad. He's more than just a loveable misfit these days; the more people that recognise that, the more likely Carl is to stay and succeed as Arsenal's player-fan – or, to put it another way, the less likely he is to leave and fail as a fisherman.

@W_F_Magee