All the Music News You Need to Know Even Though Our Country Might Implode Soon

Hey, music fans! It's our job here at Noisey to bring you the hottest, up-to-the-minute news from the world of music. Every day. At every hour. Non-stop. Even when the world around us is crumbling and music and pop culture seem trivial in comparison, we must wake up in the morning and deliver to you, the readers, the biggest stories about your favorite artists. So as we all try to turn a blind eye to the trashfire that is our current political climate, let's take a look at the music stories making headlines this week…

In a recent interview, Justin Vernon (a.k.a. Bon Iver) had a few choice words for Beyoncé, criticizing her willingness to take a Pepsi deal. (A little hypocritical since Vernon once did an ad for Bushmill's Whisky.) Naturally, the Beyhive didn't take to kindly to this epic shade and oh Jesus Christ who cares. Are we really talking about Pepsi endorsements when we're less than two months away from handing our country over to a bigoted narcissist billionaire? How does the Beyhive feel about very real possibility of nuclear war? Try making lemonade out of a post-apocalyptic hellscape wherein the top .01 percent dwell in a barricaded tower while the rest of us beg for scraps in an underground society of bottomfeeders.

Bad news for Father John Misty fans who enjoy the singer's witty, ironic social media posts. It seems he has deleted his Twitter and Instagram accounts this week. The reasoning behind it is unclear although some are speculating that he may be teasing a big announcement. I mean holy fuck did you watch the debate last night? "I have a very good temperament"? The guy legitimately yelled this.

Uh oh, some drama in the punk scene this month! The band G.L.O.S.S. caused an uproar recently when they posted on social media that they had turned down a big opportunity to sign a deal with Epitaph Records. The band ended up getting so much blowback that they announced they'd be breaking up and this is where we're at, huh? Complaining about Epitaph Records? In 2016? I remember this being a big issue in the mid-90s. Remember that time? When Republicans impeached a President for lying under oath but now support a candidate who has yet to utter a single truth and who gleefully calls people pigs and rapists?

Let's see, what else is going on in the world of music that can serve as an entertaining distraction from impending global annihilation? Oh! Nirvana's classic album Nevermind turned 25 years old this week, and Weezer's Pinkerton turned 20. Feel OLD yet? That should keep our minds off of the fact that millions of us will soon face deportation and persecution for our religious beliefs, and the fact that half the country evidently has absolutely no respect for the lives of minorities. Oh and did you see that the Nevermind baby is adult now? Crazy!

Speaking of Weezer, they'll be reissuing their first six albums on vinyl soon. It might set you back a few bucks, but you may as well buy them since the US dollar is going to be worthless once Orange Hitler collapses the world economy like he's done with so many of his failed businesses. But hey, at least "The Sweater Song" will sound warm on 180-gram vinyl. So that's something. Woah-oh-oh.

There's a new Green Day album headed our way this fall. Critics are already praising it, saying it atones for a few lackluster years in the band's career and I can't believe I'm typing about this shit with everything that's going on in Charlotte. And it's not just Charlotte, it's Ferguson and Baltimore and Milwaukee. It's everywhere. Police are murdering people ON FILM and still nothing is being done about it. But oh, uh… wake Billie Joe up when September ends, that's pretty funny, I guess.

Wilco showed that they've got a sense of humor, titling their new album, Schmilco. All I can think about is that Keith Lamond Scott video. One of the most horrifying, enraging things I've ever seen. Shot to death in broad daylight. In front of his fucking wife. Are we just accepting this as normal in America now? Is this what America is? A police state where citizens have no rights and no recourse?

Oh! And Metallica released a new song. We know what you're thinking: No more St. Anger snare! Don't worry, Metallica fans, Lars keeps it together on this song and let's just take a moment to think about what will happen if Trump doesn't win. We'll be dealing with a nation full of armed hicks screaming about a rigged election and their Second Amendment rights. And then in four years, Republicans will realize that this anti-intellectual, white power pandering resonates with Americans, and they'll birth an even more monstrous candidate. Think about that. Think about what someone even more atrocious that Trump would look like. Just a fucking Sieg Heil wrapped up in a suit and a "God Bless the Troops" pin.

Bad news, emo fans! After much speculation, it looks like Brand New will not be releasing an album this year and I truly envy the life of someone for whom this is a source of sadness. Sometimes I think about HB2 and just cry. My heart breaks to think that I live in a country where a few vocal religious lunatics can infringe on the fundamental rights of citizens, and how little that "all men are created equal" bullshit actually means. I think about the astronomically high suicide rate in the trans community, I think about the ridicule the trans kids face, I think about the indignity we force upon gender-queer people every day, and I. Just. Fucking. Cry.

Oh boy, folks. We've gotta talk about this guy. Corey Feldman. You all saw his Today Show performance, right? That was… uh, something. And while we weren't all on board with Corey's dance moves, let's just consider how insane it is that George W. Bush looks like goddamn Aristotle in comparison to what we've got right now.

Unlike Feldman, the kids from the hit Netflix show Stranger Things are still at the stage in the child stardom cycle where we find them cute instead of calling them washed up and tormenting them until they develop drug habits and personality defects. They recently did a cover of "Uptown Funk" that you have GOT to check out OMG. You may have seen it floating around Facebook last week among the hundreds of thousands of posts from disgusting NFL fans shitting their sweatpants about a black player forgetting to say please and thank you during their weekly excuse to slowly kill themselves with cheese-infused fried man-gruel.

Drake made a new short film and fuck this year is a dark stain on the soul of American history.

Lady Gaga will be releasing Joanne, her first album in three years and I mean, good lord, how is this race even close? Trump has the lowest approval rating of any Presidential candidate in history. All the Democrats had to do was not nominate the second worst and they couldn't even do it. Maybe if she can't defeat a guy whose platform is to alienate and demonize huge portions of the population, she doesn't deserve to be President. Did we ever consider that? That maybe the country is not worth saving and we're getting the President we deserve? The album is scheduled to be released on October 21.

Follow Dan Ozzi on Twitter for the latest music news! - @danozzi​​