The Knicks Can't Even Lose the Right Way

Man, the Knicks. The season is over but it was one of those seasons for Knicks fans where you start out being mad that they lose games, and it happens so frequently, that at a certain point you switch it up and get mad when they win because tanking for a high draft pick becomes the objective. Every L helps. Unfortunately, the Knicks won last night, in dramatic fashion, which is just about the saddest thing you can say about a team going nowhere and playing the Philadelphia 76ers on the last day of the regular season.

Knicks fans have been critical of the team for a long time now, but it seems like a new low when the team can't even be good at losing—they're just OK at it. And living in that middle ground will get you nowhere. In this modern NBA you need to be really good or really bad. That's just the reality. Because there are benefits to being godawful. For one, you will one day get to write an insane resignation letter. For another, the opportunities to add young new talent are vast. Do not just sort of hang around in the general vicinity of terrible. If you're no good, respect the binary nature of the W-L and really just embrace being shitty.

The Knicks have been hanging around the general vicinity of terrible for a long time now, and this season was just bad enough to be miserable, but not bad enough to be worth it. And when they beat the Sixers last night, they finished the season with the same record as the Minnesota Timberwolves. Should neither team win a lottery pick, a coin toss will determine who gets the sixth pick in the draft, and who gets the seventh.

If Knicks win this game, they have to coin flip the Wolves for the 6th worst record. Im sure a W tonight wont come back to haunt us at all pic.twitter.com/3GSu59bLVj
— Rob Perez (@World_Wide_Wob) April 13, 2017

So…this could be a thing. And, not for nothing, their chances to get a Top 3 pick also took a hit with this win. Enter The Earnest Team Social Media Presence. The Knicks twitter account, of course, celebrated the win. The fans, on the other hand…did not.

#Knicks win! #NYKvsPHI pic.twitter.com/iWX5SlttFg
— NEW YORK KNICKS (@nyknicks) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks WHAT ARE YOU DOING
— Mike (@Mike_Fio02) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks worst franchise in all of sports
— Mike (@mike_danza) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks ARE U GUYS FUCKING KIDDING ME
— Bryce (@BryceG_TV) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks You guys always seem to ruin my day
— Porzingod (@larry306333071) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks DIE
— Rondo#9 (@MillsIsland) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks If this team owned a funeral parlor no one would die
— Patrick Clancy (@PatrickClancy1) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks I've never hated the Knicks so much in my life before… Smh
— FerociousFlygon (@FerociousFYT) April 13, 2017

@nyknicks i quit
— Rohan B. (@Retrohan) April 13, 2017

It goes on and on like this but, dear Rohan, the nature of sports fandom all but guarantees you will not quit. In fact, the Knicks will probably win the coin toss, and even get a Top 3 pick. And it will give you hope. Kristaps will be another year along in his development. And your shiny new draft pick will join him and Willy Hernangomez and Jeff Hornacek will say "everyone is really picking up the Triangle now. We're going to surprise a lot of people." And you will be sucked in and excited.

Then it will still somehow all go horribly wrong.