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Food by VICE

Wear This Bracelet and Never Drink Coffee Again

Designers of a new caffeine patch wristband say their invention delivers a steady flow caffeine into the bloodstream throughout the day—minus the jitters and bad breath.

by Phoebe Hurst
Feb 12 2016, 1:00pm

Photo via Flickr user Basheer Tome

As great as that morning latte made by your favourite emerging video artist/side hustle-barista and decanted into your special thermal travel cup is, drinking coffee does have its drawbacks. The stained teeth, the teacher breath, the uncontainable urge to urinate during important management meetings, for example.

But what if there were a way to get your caffeine hit without such pesky bodily side effects?

Welcome to the future, friends! Joule, a new bracelet designed to deliver a steady flow of caffeine into the bloodstream throughout the day, may just be the wearable tech solution to our caffeine-related woes.

READ MORE: This Is How We All Got Addicted to Caffeine

Designed to save coffee drinkers from the inevitable spike and crash that comes after pounding the office espresso machine all morning, the silicone wristband is fitted with a patch that gradually emits caffeine into the skin.

Each one contains the equivalent of a cup of coffee (as well as, um, flaxseed oil and seaweed) and is released as the wearer's body heat melts away the layers. The caffeine dose is said to last for four hours.

Speaking to the Tech Insider blog, Joule's Toronto-based co-founder Adam Paulin explained: "Joule was created to help caffeine consumers emphasise the highs of their caffeine consumption experience while eliminating the lows. All while looking stylish."

READ MORE: Scientists Have Developed a Coffee That Can Keep You Wired All Day

Because nothing nails an #OOTD like being preternaturally buzzed while wearing something that resembles an imitation Fitbit.

Joule is currently seeking investment via crowdfunding website Indiegogo and has already reached its first target of $15,000. The makers are promising to send caffeine fans who invest $55 or more 60 of their patches and two bracelets, so "you can look twice as cool, rocking 2 Joule bracelets at the same time."

I think I'll stick with the chipped mug and jitters, thanks.