It's been a rough couple of days for you, sports fan. The obligations of staying up to date on the national conversation have forced you to sit on your rear end and watch that sad, toothless child of professional basketball, the sunken swamp filled with dead bodies known as "College Basketball." Every second more taxing and dull than the last, your eyes slowly close while the sad misery of arenas full of uni-shirted short-haired youths, unpaid college players, and red faced coaches killing themselves with stress generates more and more gold-pressed latinum for the sinful rulers of the NCAA.Why do you do it to yourself? Year after year, subjecting yourself to the tedious boredom of one botched half-court possession after another, with the only joy being the possibility of "underdogs" like Princeton upsetting a public school basketball powerhouse. You deserve better, reader. Clean the dust out of your eyes, pick up the remote, and switch over to THE NBA, The World's Greatest Sports League, to watch REAL magic in motion.Yeah baby, that's Russell Westbrook picking off a pass from Corey Joseph, dribbling down the court, spotting Victor Oladipo on the break, PERFECTLY TIMING THE PASS WITH THE STRIDE OF SELF SAME COREY JOSEPH AND SENDING IT BETWEEN HIS LEGS like a dang speck of pollen drifting through the wind, falling gently into a flower, making NEW LIFE in the bud of the plant and embarrassing Corey Joseph twice over in the span of like five seconds, and watching as Victor catches the pass and gently lays it in.You've seen some janky, farted-out buzzer beater before. You've watched old-ass sad dads getting all fucking weepy as their sons go to the next round. But you sure as hell haven't seen a goddamn precision-strike-on-the-move-nutmegging lately, and you DEFINITELY haven't seen that on some hoary old college basketball court.If, somehow— it wouldn't, the players aren't good enough—this shit happened in a college game, Russell Would have just gotten benched for ignoring the play the coach called. Coach would have told the media that he "had to do it" because there wasn't "enough respect for the game out there," and that he will "take an honorable loss, like that one, over showboating wins any day of the week, yes sir." Then he would cry and talk about the character of the other boys on the squad, while texting salacious stories about Russell to every GM in the NBA so he can deflate his draft stock and keep him around for another year.NBA Forever, even the worst Brooklyn Nets game is better than all college basketball, change the channel.
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