I know what you're thinking: this DeAndre Jordan-Clippers-Mavericks saga has been pretty good, but it was always missing something. We had emojis, a race against the clock, a possible hostage situation, and chicken tenders. It was almost perfect. The only thing missing was sex. Sex sells, after all, and a sexy subplot would have put this over the top. Well, keeping form, at least Mark Cuban tried.
On the list of Things No One Wants to Think About on a Beautiful Wednesday Morning in July, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban equating a contractual falling out with DeAndre Jordan to makeup sex gets the top spot. I've made this executive decision and I trust you all join me in this fairly safe assumption. I mean, sure, a few hours from now it's entirely possible that a video emerges of Kevin McHale and his wife carrying on like The Love-ahs in a hot tub, but that's not really probable, is it? God help us all if that ever does come to light, but we can only deal in truth and facts, not hypotheticals. And the simple facts are that this happened—we have the tweet to prove it, with quotes and everything—and literally no one in the world wanted it to happen. Mark Cuban may have ruined makeup sex for everyone. Way to go, Cubes.http://www.hulu.com/watch/68224Cuban on DeAndre: "Makeup sex is always the best sex but after it's over you stare at that same face and realize the problems are the same."
— Arash Markazi (@ArashMarkazi) July 22, 2015