Louisville Stomps All Over Charlotte; Charlotte's Twitter Account Just Happy to be Alive

Thursday night marked the beginning of what people around college football are calling, with the sport's characteristic humility and temperance, the greatest opening weekend ever. The reason for the designation is mostly the slate of big-name, neutral-site matchups to come over the next few days: Oklahoma-Houston, LSU-Wisconsin, Alabama-USC, and Ole Miss-Florida State all have playoff ramifications right off the bat. In all the hubbub, it can be easy to overlook that more traditional marker of the season's start: mid-major patsies heading over to power-conference stadiums for a beatdown and a payday.

Last night at, um, Papa John's Cardinal Stadium in Louisville, the 19th-ranked Cardinals did their best to breathe new life into the old model. They trounced the visiting Charlotte 49ers 70-14, but the real story was quarterback Lamar Jackson's first half. Jackson accounted for eight touchdowns, two on the ground and six in the air, in a display that made it look like some Wednesday-night Madden shit-talking had turned into an actual on-field challenge. The first touchdown came on a lightfooted, 36-yard scamper out of the option, the second on a 13-yard dart to wideout Reggie Bonnafon in the back of the end zone. The seventh was the masterpiece—an airy, millimeter-perfect pass to James Quick in the back corner. Louisville led 56-0 at the break, and Jackson sat in the second half.

There are two sides to games like this, though, and for their part Charlotte—or the official Twitter account of Charlotte Football, at least—held to a glass-half-full approach. Throughout the first-half pasting, the person behind this hearty account kept a keen eye out for bright spots and, when they arrived, was quick with the exclamation points.

A quick first down on two rushes and PI on Louisville … back-to-back first downs Charlotte!
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016

Nick Cook with his team-leading 5th tackle of the night!
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016

When the 49ers put points on the board in the second half, out came the all-caps.

4th and 10 … Olsen to Duke for a 24-yard TOUCHDOWN!!!!
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016

TOUCHDOWN CHARLOTTE! Anthony Covington recovers the muffed punt in the end zone … and is confirmed!
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016

The only time when the spirit of the Charlotte account visibly wavered was after punter Arthur Hart's tenth offering of the night, which merited only some bare statistics and the acknowledgement of a punting record—always desirable—strung together on a tired ellipsis.

Arthur Hart with a new school record 10 punts tonight … averaging 39 yards.
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016

Louisville heads to Syracuse next week, marking a nominal step up in competition, and Charlotte hosts Elon, who doesn't have Lamar Jackson. And lest you were worrying about the Niners' morale, don't. They've got it covered.

We'd rather try and fail, than never try at all (William O'Brien) We will get better! #rocksolid pic.twitter.com/80vsE3sTyy
— Charlotte Football (@Charlotte49erFB) September 2, 2016