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Festus Ezeli Posts Staind-Sountracked Goodbye Video Compatible with Your Dial-Up Modem

It's just funny that the man chose an aesthetic that belongs to a completely different decade from when he started playing in the NBA.

by Liam Daniel Pierce
Jul 8 2016, 8:01pm

Festus Ezeli is making off like the rest of the Warriors bench this summer, cashing in on his free agency in the aftermath of a huge Kevin Durant deal and a so-close-yet-so-far defending championship run with Golden State this past year. Alas, the 6'11" center was picked up by the Portland Trail Blazers on a two-year, $15 million contract and is moving on with his life. But he wanted to make sure to say goodbye to all those wonderful memories with the Warriors by posting the (above) goodbye video, which looks like, honestly, it could be viewed on one of those janky-ass ESPN phones from 2006.

It's not really clear why Ezeli's video came out about five-pixels-by-five-pixels, but you can't even distinguish a single player in there. Like, maybe there's a part about them winning the championship, and a couple of shot blocks, but really, the ball isn't even discernible at any point. This is a pretty choice couple of responses:

Also, hilariously of note: Ezeli chose to soundtrack the video to Staind's "So Far Away," a No. 24 Billboard hit from 2003. Don't worry if you don't know who that is—you're much better off this way. I mean, I guess Ezeli was going for the nostalgia angle. It's just funny that he chose an aesthetic that belongs to a completely different decade from when he started playing in the NBA.