This article originally appeared on VICE Sports UK.When we were first given the opportunity to listen to the music of The Fox Men, Jobber & Winks, we thought we'd be treated to some rough-cut, hour-long trance demos first aired circa 1994. With a name like that, we expected a four-piece, Jam & Spoon-influenced rave collective hailing from a dingy basement in Brixton, playing secret gigs to the sort of pilled-up fortysomethings who refuse to accept that "mega" is no longer a fashionable expression and that nobody wants to debate the subtle differences between ambient techno and minimal techno anymore.Our expectations have been confounded, however. As it turns out, The Fox Men, Jobber & Winks are actually the guys behind Leicester City's unofficial Premier League anthem, "Were [sic] The Blues". Though we were a bit disappointed not to get a nostalgic blast of pre-millennium bleeping straight to the eardrum, we listened to their new track regardless.And, it must be said, it is not very good.Forget the fact that the song itself is a tinnitus-inducing combination of brass parps, military drumming and discordant whistles. Forget the fact that the vocals sound like the result of pouring several pints of Bathams Bitter into an auto-tune device. Forget the fact that the whole thing sounds like it's been mastered by Maverick Martin, your dad's profoundly uninteresting best mate. The main problem here is the lyrics. When the opening lines go "We're the Blues, we're the Blues / We're the Foxes and we break all the rules" it suggests complete disregard for the sanctity of the rhyming couplet. When they're quickly followed by the claim that "We put other clubs to shame / So we're drinking all your pints", it's hard not to feel a) intimidated by the lyricist's superior pint-drinking ability and b) like you're listening to something extraordinarily inane.At least the band have made their own music video, though. That can only add to the otherwise non-existent production values, right? No, wrong. It quickly becomes apparent that the video consists of one bloke wandering about the King Power Stadium, sticking a camera in fans' faces and filming their largely bemused reactions. There are one or two recurring characters, not least two half-naked men with an admirable collection of belly tattoos. Are these the eponymous Fox Men? Part of us wants to know, but another part of us thinks it's best they remain anonymous.Judging by the feedback left by The Fox Men's fellow Leicester fans, we think it's fair to say "Were [sic] The Blues" is going to attract extremely moderate popular success. While the comments aren't all negative, we'd say they are overwhelmingly so.
Then again, maybe we're wrong. Maybe Leicester's title win will send it viral, soaring up the download charts until it's the most successful football anthem since "Three Lions". Maybe it's so bad – so unrelentingly terrible – that it has transcended our petty judgements and become something paradoxically sublime.Maybe "Were [sic] The Blues" is the answer to our prayers, a football song for the ages. It's fucking unlikely, but then so was Leicester's title tilt.
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