"Yeah, we're fucking god damn LIVE, bruh!"
That was the line that began the Grand Theft Auto–inspired spree one Florida man led cops down on Thursday, swerving onto the sandy coastline of a public beach in his jeep. According to the Tampa Bay Times, Ryan Stiles, 27, mowed down beach chairs and umbrellas in his path as he gulped from a bottle of Canadian Mist whiskey, occasionally filming the police cars on his tail for a full five minutes.
The whole thing went down in Clearwater, Florida, this week after Stiles reportedly returned home angry from a meeting. Sarah Lynn Wright, a 26-year-old friend of Stiles's, told the Times she called police after he stormed out of the house they shared. He'd just come back from a visit with a public defender who told him he likely wouldn't make parole for a previous charge. So Stiles left home in a fit of rage.
Soon, his drunken tirade through town reached folks across the country who tuned into his Facebook livestream. Several called police to warn them about Stiles's rampage, telling officers that he'd threatened to ram into a police cruiser and building, the Associated Press reports.
"We had no idea what this individual's intentions were," Clearwater deputy chief Donald Hall said.
Soon, a few squad cars managed to locate Stiles and followed him onto the beach as he sped down the coastline. He managed to stay ahead of them—peppering his livestream with whoops of "I told y'all this was GTA," "we're gonna die tonight," and "crash parade!"—until he ran over a set of spike strips. His car ground to a halt, and he surrendered to the officers shortly after.
Stiles now faces charges of reckless driving, hit and run with property damage, threatening a public servant, and DUI. Thankfully, save for some unlucky umbrellas and empty beach chairs, no one was hurt in the drunken rampage.
"It could have been a lot worse today," Hall said.
Follow Drew Schwartz on Twitter.