Are You Getting Any? What COVID Made Me Realise About Sex

As the coronavirus pandemic continues, Are You Getting Any? interviews are conducted via video call.

Quality of sex overall:  4/10
Frequency of sex: 0/10
Intimacy levels:  1/10
How do you feel generally about the people you fuck:  3/10
How happy are you with the amount of time you have for sex:  2/10

VICE: Hi, James. How’s your sex life been throughout the pandemic? 
James: For the first half, I had a lot of panic sex.

At the very beginning of the pandemic?
Yeah. I guess I shouldn’t have.

I think more people than you imagine probably did the same thing. 
Yeah, it’s shitty and irresponsible of me, but yeah, at the beginning of last year it was a weird time.

But now you've stopped having sex altogether? 
Yeah, I ended up having progressively worse experiences, but I didn't realise it at the time. It wasn’t until after, when I realised that stuff got weird around consent – so upon realising that, I was like, ‘Shit.’

That’s horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you. 
It’s weird. So then, after that, it’s just been no sex. I put it off for ages, but now I’m dealing with it. But I also want to get back out there, you know? I miss being a person. 

Absolutely. How are you feeling about getting back out there now that lockdown is slowly easing?
It’s something I need to do more sensibly. I feel like I should be more concerned about COVID, but maybe it’s the vaccines making me not. I've definitely been keeping track of it, like, ‘OK, this person I care about has got their first shot.’ I was talking to my housemate the other day about sexual health and getting checked out too. 

Yeah, I guess COVID is kind of an addition to sexual health now.  
It’s definitely important to be mindful that you can cause harm to other people. You know, being close to someone, making out, sucking dick and everything – they could just be coughing up all in your face. 

I really hope no one’s coughing in anyone’s face during sex, even without COVID. 
That didn’t happen to me, by the way.

Okay. How did you feel about your relationship with sex pre-pandemic?
I was mostly happy with it, I guess, but I wanted more of a dating and relationship experience. I'd rather have more intimacy than just physical. 

Do you think that's a common problem people have with intimacy? 
I feel like there’s a magical little secret about how to get from just hooking up to a relationship.

What do you think of the British Medical Journal research ? Is social media to blame for us all shagging less?
I feel like people I know are definitely having sex, but they’re in relationships. Maybe I’m just assuming they have more sex. 

Your friends in relationships have more sex?
For me, it’s polar opposites – either a lot at once, or nothing at all. So I always assumed – since I just haven't been in a relationship yet – that people in relationships just kind of have it on tap, like whenever they want it.

That’s interesting. Do you think dating apps play a part in people potentially having less sex?
I mean, I don’t want to think that apps do play a part, but I guess, for me, it's that there's always the thought of, ‘Well, this isn't going to work out, but then there's always some other person.’ It’s a horrible thing to think. But you know, even if it doesn't happen, they’re still a human being you can have a connection and a conversation with. 

In the past were you using apps to meet people? 
Usually just Grindr. It’s mostly randoms, but I’ve made friends too, which I think is positive. It makes it easier to do that, so I’m happy. 

You seem really thoughtful about sex after the pandemic.
Yeah, it's really just figuring it out. I feel like the fact that I'm thinking about this is good, because I'm not ignoring it. I'm just gonna go into it with optimism.

So you’ll be going into the post-pandemic world hoping for more intimate sexual encounters? 
Yeah, I’ll figure it out! It’s just after a certain amount of time – like, I don't want to be super gross, but yeah, slamming random guys just feels super impersonal. I want to get to know the person. It doesn't necessarily have to be before sex. But yeah, I'd rather have some kind of relationship with them. 

If you’re 18-30 years old and want to be featured in the Are You Getting Any? series, send an email to nana.baah@vice.com with the subject Are You Getting Any?