Love is real, y'all. All of the old people will tell you that the initial twitterpated moments of infatuation wear off, and you eventually have to find a way to support each other. Sickness/health, richer/poorer, carry the other person in times of emotional strife, etc.. But sometimes, you just have to carry people. Like physically. With your body. To get yoked.
Kate Upton and Justin Verlander—married to each other just a few days after Verlander's Houston Astros won the World Series—seem to be figuring out this whole carry-each-other setup, as Kate's trainer seemingly plopped Verlander on an apparatus and made her haul Justin up the hill.
Just take a look:
I know what you're thinking. Us too. What's going on here? We've got so many questions right now. Here's just 10 for you to ponder as you rewatch this and build out your relationship goals, or whatever you smitten kids say nowadays.
- What are THOSE?! Justin, You look like you mugged a leprechaun.
- Why are your pants so long, bruh?
- What on earth is that apparatus? Is that some kind of pimped-out CostCo cart?
- Did they really color coordinate that cart to match Kate's workout clothes? Because that's elaborate.
- Who is writing their scripts? "Just my wife, pushing me around, as always," and "Just the old ball and chain, weighing me down." That's too much. Or is it just right?
- Is Houston that hilly? Or is that Los Angeles? Those plates look like they're from California! Is Verlander going to the Dodgers now?!?
- How much does Justin even weigh?!? (Ok, you can look that up—he's 225.)
- Did he eat a huge meal beforehand, just to fuck with her?
- Why is her trainer being such a hardass, with all that "Just finish the set" nonsense?
- Who is this majestic hound, and why isn't this video of just him? Or is it a her?!
It's the offseason, but these are important questions. We demand a presser to address them immediately.