VICE News Tonight scraped through the internet for the most ridiculous tweets, Reddit posts, and YouTube videos about Jeff Goldblum and presented them for fact-checking to the man who'd know best: Jeff Goldblum.
He set the record straight on a wide variety of topics, including how he prefers to watch sitcoms (without the laugh tracks) and whether he has ever breastfed (no).
"I don't think I've ever said that publicly. But I never had the pleasure of of sucking at Shirley's teat," Goldblum said.
Goldblum also pulled up his phone's search history to prove he really does check Twitter for updates on himself. "I check them all out," he said, scrolling through memes and press photos of himself. "All manner of self glorification, pathetic self-glorification, which is going to be my undoing. If I'm not careful I'll just get lost in that some more."
Watch Goldblum create his own meme, and perform some bonus ASMR in the fourth installment of "Vicepedia."
This segment originally aired March 29, 2018, on VICE News Tonight on HBO.
But Jeff Goldblum didn't just fact check the internet, he also helped create this very important piece of content. So, chill out and listen to 10 hours of Jeff Goldblum doing ASMR below.