Not Even Adorable Farming Simulations Are Safe From Nude Modders

As someone who lives and works on a remote ranch in South Texas, I can tell you the lack of nearby neighbors on farms or ranches around here means it's not terribly uncommon for people to risk a bit of nudity from time to time. But something tells me that's not what the people behind the nude mods for the otherwise innocent farming simulator Stardew Valley had in mind.

That's right, even adorable, 2D, pixelated farming simulators have mods that undress their characters.

There are seven nude mods for Stardew Valley in total on the popular modding community site Nexus Mods. Most have been downloaded over a thousand times. By far the most popular is 3dgamerman's "Buxom Cleavage Portraits," which transforms the portraits of the charming game's marriageable women to portray them with huge breasts. Generally it's tame Playboy-style stuff, but sometimes 3dgamerman's tastelessness gets the better of him, as the mod also shows one of the characters covered in semen.

To his credit, 3dgamerman—known elsewhere as AirplaneRandy—apparently didn't set out to be so raunchy. He originally designed his busty portraits with the game's bachelorettes in bikini tops and T-shirts that said things like "Mega Milk" and posted them on Stardew Valley's official forums in March to much acclaim.

But it wasn't long before users like "friskyy" (who uses a male gender symbol as his avatar) were saying things like, "If you could go ahead and make more cleavage, that'd be great." So, not one to disappoint, Randy posted nippled mods with names like "Ultra Slutty Penny," which were quickly removed. The removal caused a bit of a stir, so a user named Afterscore suggested Randy post the link in a private message to honor the rules of the forums. "I can get pixellated tits anywhere, what I can't get just anywhere is pixellated tits that go into my 2016 farming sim game," Afterscore said. "I'm not quite stupid enough to begin advocating we post them on a forum that has an age restriction as low as 13 but I'm not going to 4chan just for this."

And now, after 14 pages of some digs at furries and some overanalysis of Stardew Valley's forum rules, here we are. If for whatever reason you need your brightly colored, retro-styled farming simulator sexed up, you can download any of the mods from Nexus Mods here. You'll need a registered account to even see them, though, and then you'll need to set your preferences to view adult content.

Is any of this actually surprising? Hardly. Nude mods eventually show up for virtually every PC game out there, and early last year we even spoke at length with one of the creators. We're used to seeing it in more realistic games like Tomb Raider or Skyrim. But to see nude mods in something as sweet and sugary as Stardew Valley? Even I was taken aback for a moment.

All of this begs another question, especially in light of the piece I wrote on Overwatch porn last weekend. I dutifully searched for the answer on my own, and no, from what I can tell, there is no proper Stardew Valley porn.

For now, anyway.