That Time Nina Tarr Did Shrooms in Maui and Ended Up in a Moldy Man Cave
The comedian explains how a serene Fourth of July swim in Hawaii quickly devolved into a disgusting sandy nightmare.
On Thursday, VICELAND aired another episode of PARTY LEGENDS, our show that collects celebrities' wildest party memories and animates them with the help of emerging artists. We heard some gnarly tales from Big Boi, Kim Gordon, Ghostface Killah, and comedian Nina Tarr.
We've recapped our favorite parts of Nina's story—about the Fourth of July she spent in Maui, taking mushrooms and scrolling through Tinder—for your viewing pleasure in GIFs below:
"My name is Nina Tarr, and this is a story about going on Tinder for the first time in Maui and being on a lot of mushrooms.
I went to Maui with one of my best friends. Her name's Domino. And we're doing all of the coolest shit. Like, we are visiting waterfalls, volcanoes, and we also got mushrooms from a hitchhiker. Thank God."
"It was Fourth of July, so I was like, I want to do something really fun. I want to take these mushrooms. So I get this great idea. I'm like, Let's go on Tinder."
"I start talking to this guy named Miller, and he's gorgeous. We decide to meet up at this place called Baby Beach. So I convinced Domino, and we get to the beach and decide right then and there: Let's eat these mushrooms."
"We're walking down the beach, and it's beautiful. There are a bunch of people just lighting off fireworks, and I see this guy walking toward me. He's gorgeous. He has just his bathing suit on. He has an American flag on his shoulder. He walks past me and is like, Hey, so, uh, what are you guys doing here? You guys, uh, partying or what? And he's, like, definitely the stupidest person I've met in my entire life, and I already know this within a sentence."
"So, are you guys, like, chilling, or what are you guys up to? This is my cousin Ryan. We're gonna chill here. You guys are more than welcome to hang.
Ryan and Domino, they're kind of hitting it off. Ryan's pretty cute. Domino's into it. Fuck Miller. We'll figure that out later. Like, this guy is here right now."
"His name was Casey, of course. So we start hanging out with Ryan and Casey. We're having a few beers. We're having a good time. Domino's like, I have a little bit of mushrooms left, actually. Like, do you guys want some?
For sure. We'll take them."
"They hit us pretty fast, and there were fireworks everywhere, so it's just like the dissipation of light that was happening. You see it kind of bloom in the sky, and then it kind of just, like, shimmered a little too long."
"We're like, Let's go back to the beach and go skinny dipping. We get into the ocean, and we just make out for, like, hours. Hours I'm pretty sure. Caressing, bathing in moonlight, and it's incredible. Then they're like, Do you guys want to go back to our place?"
"We walk into their apartment, and it is the most disgusting place I've ever entered in my entire life. There was sand all over the floor. The bathroom was a horror film. Moldy towels on the floor. Hair covering the entire shower in little hair sculptures."
"The kitchen was, like, Sun Chips trash. Like, they don't even eat Kind bars—they're still on PowerBars. There's just a mattress on the floor with no sheets on it. It looks like a rape den. Ryan slept on something in the living room that he referred to as a 'flip and fuck.' You know when you have outdoor furniture and there's a pad on top? That was his bed."
"So we crawl out of this apartment, and we get into our car, and we fucking bounce. The next day, I got back on Tinder because I left Miller hanging. I was like, Hey, I'm so sorry about last night. My phone died—classic fuckboy excuse. And he's like, Oh, no worries.
About an hour later, he hits me up. Were you at my place last night? You were hanging out with my cousins Ryan and Casey."
"They were all fucking cousins. And me and Domino coined a term for them: "Big-dick, dirty-ass cousins." They lived like fucking pigs, and they were so hot and had giant dicks. Here's the crazy thing—Miller still wanted to hang out. He was like, So, I heard you hung out with my cousin. Want to chill?"
You can catch PARTY LEGENDS Thursdays at 10:00 PM on VICELAND. Find out how to watch here.