The Cavaliers Only Needed Two Games to Sweep the Celtics

There are no words too insulting, absurd, or extreme for what transpired in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals on Friday night. The Boston Celtics, a 53-win No. 1 seed playing at home with revenge on their mind, were utterly trounced by the Cleveland Cavaliers in a game so lopsided that watching the entire second half was more like a Ron Burgundy line in Anchorman than usual postseason garbage time: Boston, you pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing.

This was the largest margin of defeat not only for a one-seed but between any two teams in Eastern Conference Finals history. No team has ever entered halftime trailing by 41 or more points in any NBA playoff game. This was an all-time beatdown.

In a game where the Cavs at one point were up by 50 points, it only makes sense to blame the Boston defense. And, well, there's no real contrarian take here that justifies how the Celtics played on that end. We knew heading into the series that Boston couldn't defend Cleveland, but the chasm that currently separates these two teams makes strategic adjustments feel pointless.

That's largely because of LeBron James, who was, once again, completely unstoppable in every way. In a playoff-low 33 minutes, the world's top athlete recorded 30 points, seven assists, four rebounds, four steals, and the best plus/minus of his career. Of. His. Career.

The Cavaliers trotted James out at center to start the second quarter, and, as we wrote after Game 1, there's really no answer when they do that. The James, Kyle Korver, Deron Williams, Iman Shumpert, Richard Jefferson five-man unit has outscored Boston by 62 points per 100 possessions in this series.

Celtics head coach Brad Stevens tried to match up by subbing Jae Crowder in for Kelly Olynyk less than 20 seconds into the frame, but going extremely small played directly into James' hands. He got to the rim at will (again), and forced Stevens to insert Al Horford into the game about one minute later.

Cleveland attempted 39 threes and made 48.7 percent of them. That sort of accuracy seems unprecedented at such a high volume, except the Cavs did it twice exactly one year ago against the Atlanta Hawks. And they aren't the only one: the Celtics actually did the exact same thing in Game 1 of the second round.

The Celtics know how to generate efficient, lethal offense, but in this series they just haven't looked like themselves. That starts (and probably ends) with their best player. Isaiah Thomas scored two points, made zero shots, and left Game 2 with a strained hip after just 18 minutes. Boston has a 0.0 percent chance to even compete with Cleveland when Thomas struggles

Their 83 offensive rating was nearly seven points worse than any game during the regular season, primarily because they couldn't stop turning it over and didn't know how to make an open shot. That's a devastating combination against the Cavaliers, a team that roasts everything in transition.

The beauty of a seven-game series is no matter how dramatic any loss, it only counts as one game. But if Adam Silver ever wanted to change the rules and offer the Celtics some mercy, he should look at Game 2 and consider naming the Cavs the Eastern Conference champions right now.