Shoot Dildos at Donald Trump's Face in 'Drumpulous'

There's a dildo stuck in Donald Trump's neck. Big, blue, and at least 10 inches long, it sits lodged in the empty space between his cubical Minecraft-y head and his blocky body while he rails on about how the American Dream is dead. I put it there. In fact, in the time since it got stuck I've lobbed about 52 more at his head, using a device that looks not much like a gun as a truncated leaf blower with a reel of hearts on it. Right about the time he says that no one would be tougher on ISIS than he, it falls out limply on the floor.

It's a game, of course, and it's available for free for both Windows and Mac. Specifically, it's Drumpulous, also known by the unwieldy but 100 percent descriptive title Shoot Dildos at Donald Trump's Head. And that's exactly what I did for almost twenty minutes. It kicks off with Trump (or specifically Drumpf, to use his family's original name and presumably avoid legal action) walking into an empty stairwell—notably, without any bodyguards—while you simply fire off a succession of dildos at him. They bounce off his body, but hitting his head causes it to wobble and force his bouffant locks up into the wind. It even uses a split screen to show the action from different angles.

As silly as it sounds, rubber penises have become a favored protest prop as of late. Just last month in New Zealand, protester Josie Butler threw a dildo at Kiwi politician Steven Joyce on live television in protest of the U.S.-led Trans Pacific Partnership trade deal.

As silly as Drumpulous is, I found it still instilled a sense of dread. No matter how many cocks I tossed at Trump, no matter how many bounced off his head, no matter how many dildos carpeted the arena floor and dragged down my framerates, he just kept moving forward and the crowd kept cheering. Aside from his hair poofing up, it was like I wasn't even there.

"It's not really a game you can win," the in-game info panel says.