Human Slimeball Chris Christie Oozes Creepily About Women's Tennis

Former Republican presidential candidate Chris Christie is pretty good at globbing on to lowest common denominators. So when the topic of Maria Sharapova's recent two-year ban for doping came up during an appearance on New York WFAN's shock-jock radio show Boomer & Carton, it came as no surprise when Christie jumped right on in with some not-so-subtle, good old-fashioned female objectification.

At first, Christie and host Craig Carton reacted like they were normal humans living in 2016—talking about the shocking length of Sharapova's punishment and how it's sad to see a talented athlete go—when all of a sudden things took a "hate to see you leave, but love to watch you go" turn for the worse.

Carton started talking about about how meldonium—the drug in question—is endurance-based, and how the tennis playing field feels fairly level due to players being in, as Carton said, "phenomenal aerobic shape." To which Christie leered, "Yes, she is," referring to Sharapova—one breath away from a sickly villainous chortle.

"At the end of the day, tennis needs that," Carton continued.

"We need Sharapova," Christie urged on.

"You need attractive European tennis players so that you have something to do other than watch the…" Carton, master of subtlety, trailed off. "Listen, I love the Williams sisters; they're American and they win all the time. But for the sport, you need some of—"

"You need Wozniacki," Christie said, referring to Caroline Wozniacki. Let's just pause and take a look at the racial dynamic here: two white men don't seem to care for the black athletes, instead suggesting that they be replaced European players for their viewing pleasure. It's just so impossibly hard to listen to.

Christie somehow found a way to feign taking a high road when Carton suggested that they "go right to Victoria's Secret and put a tennis racket in their hands."

"No, see, that's not right," the New Jersey governor said. Nice try, Christie, but I'd say lay off sports and stick to politics—and maybe you shouldn't even be doing that.

[h/t Buzzfeed]