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This Town Is Pouring Dissolved Human Bodies Into Its Sewer System

Dale Hilton is offering Canadians a more energy-efficient cremation method by using alkaline to liquify bodies and subsequently dumping the runoff into the city's sewage system.

by Amil Niazi
Jun 20 2016, 2:57pm

Welcome to the future of funerals. Photo via C.H.U.D.

Hopefully you're more familiar with Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers than the town of Smith Falls, Ontario, which apparently fails to understand that pouring human ooze into the sewer system is a guaranteed way to create an army of C.H.U.D.

Local business owner Dale Hilton of Aquagreen Dispositions told the CBC that he's riding the "green wave" currently overtaking the funeral business, which includes biodegradable urns and caskets, by offering Canadians a more energy-efficient cremation method using alkaline to liquify bodies. Once all the organic material is dissolved, it heads right out to the city's sewage treatment system.

"You're entering yourself back to your natural state as you come into this world," Hilton told the CBC. "You come in by water, and you leave by water."

While the alkaline method isn't as flashy as a moon funeral, it's certainly more energy efficient. Supporters of the alternative cremation method argue that the old-fashioned burning method can take upward of four hours and releases 250 kilograms of carbon dioxide.

Hilton has had a license for the method since 2015 and was already using it on pets under the municipal water treatment facility's watchful eye. So far, city officials say the dissolved human remains haven't caused any abnormalities in the town's water system.

No word yet on whether anyone from the town has had any official C.H.U.D. sightings, but we're not holding our breath.

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Read: Meet the Living People Who Collect Dead Human Remains