TFW they ask you if you were pooping. © David Richard-USA TODAY Sports
Welcome to the worst NBA Finals ever, where this headline exists. It seems some people have gotten bent out of shape about Steph Curry's reaction to his teammate's hugely important, game- and series-altering shot on Wednesday night. After Kevin Durant gave the Warriors a lead with less than a minute to go in Game 3, Curry stopped on the court, looked at Durant, and squatted. Somewhere along the way, people got to talking about how Steph was miming the act of pooping. I swear to God.
Advertisement
I am not quite sure what kind of machinations are going on upstairs in the people who watch this video and instinctively go, "dude's pooping on the court," but it is a real thing that is happening across the country. Cavs players are reportedly very upset about it, vowing that it "won't be forgotten come Friday night." Steph was himself asked about it. There is an honest-to-god op-ed on this very topic in the Cleveland Plain Dealer that incorporates the phrase "air-dump on the court." It's all very upsetting.Now, had Steph actually Cleveland-steamered the Quicken Loans Arena's floor, it would be an act even more disgusting than Randy Moss's mimed mooning. But ask yourself this: Why would he do that? Why on Earth would Steph Curry, one of the most recognizable superstars in a building that includes LeBron James and Kevin Durant, pretend to poop on a basketball court in front of his fellow man, country, and God? What possible benefit could he derive from that? When has trash talk ever involved physically pooping on someone or something? It doesn't make sense.Sure, people say things like "man, he shit all over them," but I have never once in my life seen a person take the extra step of acting like they are squatting over a vanquished opponent as if to say "I am metaphorically pooping on you right now." Never once saw it. Why would Steph Curry be the first person to break this streak? He wouldn't. No one wouldâwell, Draymond maybeâbecause this is the dumbest thing we've ever talked about.
The most logical explanation of what he was doing is that, first, he thought the Cavs were going to call a timeout and thus had time to ham up a celebration, and two, he was giving KD and incredulous Did you just do that? reaction pose. The next most logical explanation is literally anything other than Steph Curry Pretends to Poop on a Basketball Court After Kevin Durant Hit a Big Three-Pointer.Game 4 of the Finals is tonight. Hopefully it ends so we can stop talking about whether an adult man fake pooped on national TV."I really don't know what I did last night," Curry said. "I saw it, I saw it, I just don't really know what I was doing. I even dropped my mouthpiece because I was so uncoordinated. No Randy Moss, no none of that stuff. Just having fun."