Down Goes Brown Grab Bag: Expansion Draft Excuses, Mike Bullard and No. 66

(Editor's note: Welcome to Sean McIndoe's weekly grab bag, where he writes on a variety of NHL topics. You can follow him on Twitter. Check out the Biscuits podcast with Sean and Dave Lozo as they discuss the events of the week.)

The third star: Marc Bergevin. At the annual GMs meeting, he went all secret agent to avoid the Canadian media.

Quelqu'un a vu Marc Bergevin à Boca Raton? Nous le cherchons toujours. Il doit être bien caché… — Hockey 360 (@hockey360)March 6, 2017

Not sure what's going on in Montreal these days, but obscuring faces seems to be all the rage.

The second star: Whatever this is. Yeah, I've watched it a dozen times and I have no idea, but I do know that I want to rescind my 2016 Norris vote.

— Ottawa Senators (@Senators)March 5, 2017

Nice work, Erik. (But next time, ask to borrow your coach's cool shades.)

The first star: The Calgary Flames get jokes. Hockey players, the world's most naturally charismatic joke tellers.

As someone who regularly writes jokes about hockey, I can't thank these guys enough for setting the bar nice and low.

This week's debate: Your favorite team has recently done things and/or not done things. How should you feel about that?

In favor: Good. You should feel good. Your favorite team is wise, and the things they do make sense.

Opposed: Man, I don't know. I'm still not so sure about that trade they made and/or didn't make at the deadline. Like, what was that about? It didn't seem to make a lot of sense.

In favor: Ah, my friend, but you're overlooking something very important.

Opposed: Am I? What?

In favor: The expansion draft.

Opposed: I don't really see what that has to do with—

In favor: That's why they did what they did at the deadline. Sure, on the surface it all may have seemed like a classic blunder. But you're not digging deep enough. Once you factor in the expansion draft, it all makes sense.

Opposed: Does it? Says who?

In favor: Says me, the fan who immediately attributes literally everything that happens this season to expansion draft.

Opposed: OK, but even putting aside the trade deadline, what's the deal with some of the roster decisions they've been making? They're using guys in weird ways.

In favor: Ah, but… the expansion draft.

Opposed: What?

In favor: They're making sure they meet the games-played requirement. It's quite simple, really.

Opposed: Yeah, I'm pretty sure they've already met all of the—

In favor: [voice rising] Expansion draft!

Opposed: [sigh] OK, fine. But what about that extension they signed a little while ago? That was way too much money for that player. There's no way you can defend that.

In favor: Just watch me.

Opposed: Oh, let me guess…

In favor: [dramatically] Expansion draft!

Opposed: Right. And what about the way that the power play isn't working anymore?

In favor: [whispering] Expansion draft!

Opposed: Also, the GM ran over my dog yesterday. Like, he literally drove onto my street, waited for my dog to come out, then ran over him while shouting, "I hate puppies and I hate you."

In favor: An unpleasant but necessary side effect of the expansion draft.

Opposed: Yeah, look, I'm just going to throw this out there: I don't think you know what you're talking about.

In favor: You would think that, because unlike me, you're not an educated fan who understands that literally every decision made by any team this season can be explained—and fully justified—with two simple words.

Opposed: Right, we know, the exp—

In favor: [furious jazz hands] EXPANSION DRAFT!

Opposed: If you say so.

In favor: I mean, how else can you explain it?

Opposed: Oh, I don't know. Maybe NHL teams continue to make weird decisions because NHL teams always make weird decisions. But this year, because we've got a relatively simple and straightforward expansion draft to deal with, every homer fan (and media member) has been given cover to justify literally every move a team does or doesn't make, even though most of this makes absolutely no sense.

In favor: Hm. Interesting theory. There's just one problem with it.

Opposed: If you say "expansion draft" I'm going to hit you over the head with this canoe paddle.

In favor: That's unfortunate but unavoidable, given the coming expansion draft.

Opposed: [THWACK]

In favor: I regret nothing.

The final verdict: OK, sure, this kind of thing is getting annoying, but at least we all agree that the expansion draft, and the protection lists that go with it, are crucially important and have impacted virtually everything that's happened all season, right? Of course we can.

This week's obscure player is Mike Bullard, for no real reason other than it's his birthday today. Happy birthday, Mike!

Bullard racked up huge goal totals in junior before heading to Pittsburgh with the ninth overall pick in the 1980 draft, a few picks behind future Penguins Larry Murphy and Paul Coffey. He debuted later that year, and became a regular the following season, scoring 36 goals. That set a new rookie record for Pittsburgh, although it's since been beaten out by a couple of guys named Mario and Sidney. Bullard's production dipped as a sophomore, but he rebounded by scoring 51 goals for the 1983-84 Penguins, which probably wasn't appreciated by a team that was desperately tanking for the first overall pick.

That season has led to Bullard being one of those guys who gets held up alongside Wayne Babych, Ray Sheppard, and Gary Leeman as proof that anybody could score 50 goals in the 80s and early 90s. But while he never hit the 50-goal mark again, he wasn't a one-hit wonder either—he added a couple of 40-goal seasons and would end his career with 329.

Despite his goal-scoring, Bullard might best be remembered for two things that happened in 1988. The first came when he was the victim of an ugly spear by Marty McSorley in the playoffs, one that helped lead to the rule change that lets linesmen call stick fouls. The second was the trade that sent him from Calgary to St. Louis as part of a seven-player deal that landed Doug Gilmour in Calgary. It was a terribly lopsided trade (which seemed to be a thing with Gilmour), and he lasted only 20 games in St. Louis before being shipped to the Flyers for Peter Zezel.

Bullard spent two semi-productive seasons in Philadelphia before heading to Europe for a year. He returned to the NHL in 1991 when the Leafs acquired his rights from the Flyers, making Bullard the answer to a trivia question: It's Bullard, not Grant Fuhr or Glenn Anderson, who goes down in history as the first player acquired by Cliff Fletcher in Toronto.

After one season it was back to Europe, where he played for another decade before starting a career in coaching, even though a generation of confused Canadian hockey fans thought he became a late-night talk show host.

The issue: Islanders prospect Josh Ho-Sang made his NHL debut this week, and did so wearing No. 66, which is of course associated with the legendary Mario Lemieux.

The outrage: Anyone who is angry about this is an idiot!

Is it justified: Of course. This is a ridiculous thing to be upset about. Lemieux's number, while iconic, isn't retired league-wide like Wayne Gretzky's. Ho-Sang has worn the number for most of his career, and there's no reason to expect him to change once he gets to the NHL. Lemieux was great, but he never even played for the Islanders—in fact, he spent his entire career with a division rival. This is all just a big sideshow that distracts from Ho-Sang's accomplishment in making the big leagues, and anyone who's angry about this should be embarrassed.

Uh… did anyone actually get angry about it?

I'm honestly asking. Because this feels like one of those hockey outrages where everyone seemed to get really upset over something that wasn't happening. I read plenty of takes that served as a backlash to the backlash, but we seem to have skipped over the whole initial backlash part almost entirely.

As best I can tell, we're all getting worked up over some random Pens' fan Facebook group and one respected sportswriter who kind of sort of took issue with Ho-Sang's decision. That's it. Everything else I've seen is that wishy-washy "should this be a thing?" type of take that tries to feed off a presumed controversy that hasn't actually happened yet.

For the record, there's nothing wrong with Ho-Sang wearing No. 66, just like there wasn't anything wrong with other players doing the same—players should respect the traditions and history of their own franchise, but deference to some other team's superstar isn't necessary. At the same time, he knew he'd get a handful of questions about the subject, and by all accounts, he handled them fine.

As for the rest of us, let's all take a deep breath here. This is the NHL. There's more than enough stuff to frustrate, confuse, and, yes, even outrage you. If there isn't something right now, wait a few minutes, because it's on the way. We don't all need to go out and preemptively find things to be not-angry about.

[Goes back to preparing blistering hot take for the first time that Ho-Sang smiles or high-fives somebody or celebrates wrong.]

NHL fans got some sad news last week, when legendary Kings play-by-play voice Bob Miller announced his retirement. He'll call the Kings' final two regular season games, then sign off after 44 years as the voice of the franchise.

If you grew up a Kings fan, Miller was basically the soundtrack to your sports life. If you followed another team, you probably knew his voice before you learned his name. Unlike many hockey voices, he never resorted to cheap gimmicks or silly catch phrases to make himself known. Just a pure pro, calling the ups and downs of a franchise that's had plenty of both.

Today, let's pay tribute to Miller by looking back at a handful of short clips that show off his work.

• We'll start with what was probably the most memorable Kings moment of the pre-Gretzky era: the 1982 Miracle on Manchester, in which the Kings came back from a 5-0 deficit to beat the Oilers on the way to greatest first-round upset in history.
• I like this clip, because it's the perfect example of Miller's all-pro style. It's hard to express how completely ridiculous this comeback was. And yet, Miller plays it cool. He calls the goal, then goes quiet to let the moment sell itself. That's a classic veteran broadcaster move, and Miller was pulling it off just a few years into his career.
• His color guy? Well, not so much. But again, this game was insane. We'll forgive a guy for not being able to manage much more than an "OHHH … HOOOHHHH … H-H-HOOOHHH!" Under the circumstances, that's actually more coherent than I would have been.
• That's an all-time celebration there by Daryl Evans, by the way. I'm not completely sure, but given the timing I think it's possible we just saw the invention of the moonwalk. Stick around to the end to see him work in some windmill high-fives too.
• OK, so Miller was great on the memorable moments. But a real legend also shines on the day-to-day stuff, and luckily YouTube has our back there, too.

• Honestly, this clip might be my favorite of the bunch, and I'm not quite sure why. It's just some random regular-season game from 1991. Daniel Berthiaume is in net for the Kings and is playing well, so Miller points that out. We can probably all guess what's going to happen next.
• I have to be honest: I did not know that Berthiaume's name was pronounced this way. I just always went with two syllables: "Birth-hume." I'm going to go ahead and say that Miller's probably right and I'm wrong.
• Two quick things that have nothing to do with Miller but I need to mention. First, to this day, I can't see a Target logo without hating Glenn Anderson. And second, you all caught the organist playing a few seconds of that omnipresent NHL '94 in-game music, right? Good, just making sure.
• Sure enough, the Canucks start spamming shots from the face-off circle and beating Berthiaume to the glove side. Cliff Ronning even came down and ripped a slapshot. You'll just have to trust me, kids—this stuff happened back before offense was outlawed.
• At this point, Berthiaume is thinking, Man, three straight shots from the same spot, and they score on all of them. I'm clearly doing something wrong. Oh, I know, I'll stop moving.
• Ah, much better. Miller's "I'm not mad I'm just disappointed" voice was always top notch.

• In this clip, Miller wants to fight a fan. That's pretty much it.
• "Really brave with that plexiglass there." How much do you want to bet that this fan is on Twitter with an egg avatar today?
• The best part is that Jim Fox tries to joke about it, even making a nice callback to the Tie Domi incident that was one of our first ever YouTube breakdowns. But Miller isn't having it. He's legitimately mad about this.
• This was kind of a thing for Miller—here he is using the all-time classic Steve Sullivan incident to teach fans about the dangers of taunting.
• "I'm going to find the guy and tell him you're going to take care of him after the game." Seriously, Miller is the best. Let's close with one more clip. Take us home, Bob.

• Thank you, sir. The game won't be the same without you.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com.