Have a good weekend, did you? Order a Domino's, stick a few Kopparberg's in the fridge and binge-watch the new series of Orange Is The New Black? Get nine faves on a tweet about the Game of Thrones finale? Masturbate furiously to ethical, body-positive porn? Well you can take whatever feelings of pride and accomplishment you got from the last 48 hours and deposit them in the bin, because they have been invalidated by the actions of one man at Pinkpop Festival in Landgraaf, the Netherlands, this weekend.
Some bloody legend—some absolute hero of Lad Bible proportions, who is also the singer of a Dutch punk band called John Coffey—was casually crowdwalking in the middle of his set, when a member of the audience launched half a frosty beer directly at his unsuspecting head. Now, your average Joe would have crumbled under this kind of pressure. They would have cowered, formed a protective X with their arms and used it to cover their face, which bore a terrified expression of "I may well be about to soil myself in front of a thousand people."
But not this guy, not David Achter de Molen of the punk band John Coffey. He extended his arm with confidence, fingers reaching out like the Hand of God, and caught it in mid-air. Then he downed the bastard in one and tossed the empty cup away like a shit Christmas present. NBD. This kind of thing must happen to him all the time. Just an average day in the life of David Achter de Molen, who is categorically better than all of us. See:
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