Do you have five minutes? Then master writer-director David Lynch can teach you how to type. Developer Rhino Stew has just unleashed an excellent parody of Lynch’s work in the form of an early 1990s style typing program. David Lynch Teaches Typing isn’t an official Lynch production, but if the weird auteur taught typing, this is what it would look like.It’s even got a pretty good Lynch impersonator, and it goes places, so the less you know, the better.
After you’ve pushed through Twin Peaks' Black Lodge and settled into your chair, Lynch will guide you through the basics. The first lesson is where to place your hands. Lynch knows where the F key is, where the J key is and he knows where your hands should rest on the keyboard. He’ll test your speed and ask you to perform tasks that you won’t think have anything to do with typing, but just trust him. He’s David Lynch.
There will, of course, be dangers. It’s an early build of the program so technical glitches are inevitable. Just be aware that you don’t have to do everything Lynch tells you to do. But please, enjoy coffee and cigarette break. It may be the last one you get.
David Lynch Teaches Typing is available from itch.io for free because David Lynch is a national treasure.