Everything You're Missing at Comic-Con in GIF Form

The new Batman costume, X-Men Oculus Rift, a <i>Fight Club 2</i> graphic novel, <i>Street Fighter</i> cosplay and so much more await you inside!

Dave Schilling

Dave Schilling

GIFs by Daniel Stuckey. Thumbnail photo by Julia Prescott.

While we're sitting at home feeling totally left out, San Diego Comic-Con is happening and people from all walks of life—including this little wood nymph elf creature—are having the time of their lives in sunny Southern California. If you're like us, and you wish you were slamming 40s and trading Pokemon cards with your "bros," then come along as we filter some hot Comic-Con news through the glorious medium of GIFs.

A virtual reality X-Men experience, located inside the Fox booth at Comic-Con, will use non-commercially available Oculus Rift headsets to simulate the mind-reading Cerebro device from the series. For 90 seconds, convention attendees will sit in a mock-up of Professor X's wheelchair and, like, see through the eyes of a mutant or whatever.

The irony of standing in line to sit in a wheelchair will surely be lost on them. Each "virtual adventure" will be recorded and made available to post on social media, so participants can share the joy of sitting in said fake wheelchair with all the virtual friends they met on Reddit.

Comic-Con, it turns out, isn’t exactly the safest place in the world to be a broad wearing a Sailor Moon outfit. In years past, many women have reported being groped, stalked and photographed without their consent at the event. A group called Geeks for CONsent (get it?) is demanding Comic-Con organizers take sexual harassment seriously by posting signs in the convention halls that tell dweebs to keep their hands to themselves.

Comic-Con ain’t goin’ through with it, though, which makes sense. I mean, if all them broads who got their ruffled panties in a twist didn't want to be sexually harassed, they shouldn't have dressed like fictional characters from cartoons made for children. Y’know what I mean?

If you do decide to show up at a comic book convention, you might want to consider bringing a large, muscular black man with you. I'm pretty sure those unwanted advances will stop real fast.

The cowl and cape portion of the Batsuit Ben Affleck is gonna wear in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a movie that inexplicably doesn't come out for another two goddamned years, was unveiled on Thursday. It looks exactly like, well, a Batman costume. I’m sure, however, people will still find something to criticize about it.

Warner Brothers also announced at the convention that Batman v Superman is taking over two years to make because they want to ensure the script is “perfect.” (LOL, J/K, they just need to add ‘splosions in post.)

Chuck Palahniuk will be on hand Saturday to talk about his upcoming Fight Club 2, a graphic novel sequel to the "so 90s it actually really hurts" book and film that spawned a million dorm room posters. In spite of the fact that said sequel was asked for by 16-year-old boys in 1999 and no one else, it will be “dropping” next year.

In further irrelevancy news, Kevin Smith will also be revealing the trailer to his needlessly shrouded in mystery next movie (note I said "movie," not "film"), Tusk, in an effort to appeal to the same "16-year-old circa 1999" demographic. Godspeed, Bluntman. Or was he Chronic? Ah, who fucking cares.

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