Friends, who among us has not succumbed to the temptation of tabloid journalism? Perhaps it’s been a peek into the pages lining the checkout aisle at the supermarket about a celebrity baby’s botched facelift. Or maybe it was a guilty click on a Facebook story about two famous people who are secretly fuckin’ real good. The power of curiosity is strong with tabloids, regardless of the strength of the reader’s will. Well, Noisey would like to get in on some of those sweet-ass morbid curiosity clicks, too. That’s why today, all day, we promise to bring you the very best in tabloid journalism.There will be exclamation points after words like “shocking!” and “scandal!” There will be those little arrows pointing to circled areas of photos just in case you can’t tell what we’re talking about! There will be grainy paparazzi photos zoomed in so far that your eyes will be begging for fucking mercy.Will we be factchecking? Hell no. Will the stories be based entirely on vague and unsubstantiated rumors, often ones that we ourselves made up? God yes. Will we throw caution to the wind in our Photoshopping? Buddy, we have instructed our art department to literally go buck wild. Our designers are currently freebasing Red Bull extract and feverishly masturbating to a photo of Harvey Levin.Thank you for bearing with us as we embrace the future of music journalism. Long live scandal and long live #ClickDay!
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