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Robot Strippers Are Here

We finally have the future we deserve.

River Donaghey

River Donaghey

Photo via MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images

It's 2018 and robots are already driving cars, writing symphonies, and even penning news stories like this one. Now, apparently, our silicon friends are going to start stripping for us, too. According to the New York Post, a Las Vegas strip club will feature a pair of android dancers on the poles in honor of the 2018 Consumer Electronics Show this week.

The robot strippers are more of a publicity stunt than an actual attempt to be titillating, since they have the heads of security cameras and look like bad Banksy graffiti come to life. But the Sapphire Gentlemen's Club apparently figures it'll be a fun way to bring in some folks from CES this year.

"Come watch sparks fly as the Robo Twins shake their hardware and leave everyone wondering if those double Ds are real or made in 'Silicone' Valley," the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club wrote in a recent announcement about their android additions.

Peter Feinstein, a managing partner at Sapphire, told the Daily Beast that the club was "looking for something creative to do during CES" that would cater to both male and female CES attendees, and decided to ship the dancing bots in from the UK for the week.

"The majority of strip clubs are not appealing to people through CES," Feinstein continued. "We’re offering a different place to go. If you’re six people from a company and there’s two women and four guys, you can still [come] here and have some fun and see the robots and not feel like you have to be part of a strip club."

As potentially silly and fun as it could be to watch some robots strip—depending on how scared you are of the looming technological apocalypse—it doesn't look like Sapphire's "Robo Twins" are particularly fancy dancers. In a video from one of their performances this week, the robots seem to mostly just bob up and down and gyrate slowly on the pole. Ex Machina, this is not.

In any case, if you're in Las Vegas and CCTV-headed robot strippers are your thing, they'll be dancing all week at Sapphire. Or just watch them boogie in the video above and marvel at how mediocre the future really is. Long live the new flesh!