Photo of the further societal decline via WISC-TV.
Stoughton, Wisconsin is a town of around 12,500 people, fifteen miles south of Madison. Steeped in Norwegian history, it's known for the annual Syttende Mai Celebration marking Constitution Day in Norway, as well as being the birthplace of the coffee break. It's the type of homespun Wisconsin burgh where Packers loyalty runs deep and fans of their NFC North opponents are in for some good-natured ribbing—especially if they root for a certain team of seafaring plunderers in 2016.Did I say ribbing? I meant stabbing.In the latest All Too Frequent physical attack based on goddamn NFL football fandom, a Stoughton man was stabbed seven times for the crime of being a big Vikings supporter. Unlike most acts of fan-on-fan violence we witness, this didn't take place in a stadium or parking lot, but on Dave Moschel's front lawn. Last Sunday, as the 36-year-old Stoughton resident was getting comfy in his Sunday Night Football-watching chair, he heard a ruckus outside. A 21-year-old male was taking a box cutter to Moschel's inflatable Viking talisman, slicing its knee like big ole' 00 was Adrian Peterson. Naturally, Moschel took offense and came running out to put an end to the vandalism.Damaging lawn ornaments isn't cool, but in the realm of young (most-definitely-shithoused) male pranks, it's not uncommon. However, the minute the owner confronts you is (usually) when you run the other way. Nope, this Cheesehead asshole took a box cutter to Moschel's dome, requiring multiple stitches to his forehead and under his eye. The assailant was arrested on charges of suspicion of reckless endangerment and criminal damage of property, but he's extremely lucky. It could have been much bloodier. As Moschel told WISC-TV out of Madison:"'Luckily, I didn't have my concealed carry on me at the time,' Moschel said. 'Ninety-nine percent of the time I leave the house, I never leave without it. And this is the one time I did. I'm kind of glad I did, because he would have been dead, and I would have had to live with that.'"Guess this qualifies as a happy ending? Skol.[WISC-TV]
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