This Week in Food Porn: Sweet Buns and Indian Pizza
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This Week in Food Porn: Sweet Buns and Indian Pizza

Contemplate with lively joy all the best of this week’s food, shared for you here, in one handy morsel.

'Tis well to be bereft of promis'd good, that we may lift the soul, and contemplate with lively joy the joys we cannot share.

So said Coleridge when he was laid up with a broken leg and a tray of salty snacks, while his mates went off to a ramble. And so say we. For, while you may not be able to wrap your mouth around every delicious dish that makes its way onto the algorithms of Instagram, you may still contemplate with lively joy all the best of this week's food, shared for you here, in one handy morsel.

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Enjoy.

Breakfast. #

A photo posted by Laura López (@lauraponts) on Dec 10, 2015 at 11:34pm PST

I don't know about you, but I love nothing more of a drizzling winter morning than to eat my breakfast out of an assortment of desk tidies, or off a ping pong bat resting on an old pair of knickers. Really sets me up for the day.

Sometimes what looks really good, tastes extremely good as well. HECK YEAH! By @kkamini #cheese #pizza #food #foodporn #yummy #amazing #instagood #pizzapie #pizzalover #dinner #lunch #foodie #delicious #eating #foodpic #hungry #foodgasm #India #London #Nyc #France #Italy #NewDelhi #India #Indian #foodtalkindia A photo posted by #FoodTalkIndia (@foodtalkindia) on Dec 10, 2015 at 1:25am PST

One of the greatest pleasures afforded to us by cheap international air travel ("Sorry there's no oxygen, kids! I wanted to spend the weekend in Zurich.") is tasting what happens when one nation makes the food of another. Here is the Indian version of pizza and, good golly Miss Delhi, it looks fucking great. By which I mean weird. By which I mean cheesy. By which I mean like a freshly opened cyst. Frankly, I don't know what I'm looking at but I know I'm tempted to catch the next train to the subcontinent and have a bash.

Regram from the brilliant and always inspiring @anneauchocolat - Tag your photos with #gloobyfood and we will regram our favourites.

A photo posted by @food_glooby on Dec 10, 2015 at 11:31pm PST

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So Kendall Jenner's heart hair selfie was the most-liked photo on Instagram over the last entire year. Big fucking woo. Can you eat hair? Would you want to eat off Kendall Jenner's floor? Have you ever coughed up a heart-shaped hairball? Exactly. Stick to the berries, friends. They won't wrap themselves around your colon and make a haystack.

我覺得這樣有點噁心 #石榴 #紅石榴 #石榴不是番石榴#pomegranate#granada#foods #foodstagram #fruit A photo posted by GINA (@ginachiki) on Dec 10, 2015 at 10:52pm PST

You would pluck out the heart of my mystery … 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, yet you cannot play upon me. That's Hamlet. I think he's making a wanking joke. And that is the heart of a pomegranate. And it makes me want to lie down.

Field blewits , pmsl made me chuckle #foraging #forager #forage #funny #wild #mushroom #mycology #shroom

A photo posted by Chris (@foragingmouse) on Dec 10, 2015 at 12:49am PST

Are you choosing somewhere to sit on the bus? No? Then stop picking your seat. It'll make your fingers smell.

Looking for something delicious and simple to make your loved ones this Christmas? Try out my easy, beautiful preserved lemons. Video recipe now up on #alotonherplate #youtube - link in profile A photo posted by Rosie Birkett(@rosiefoodie) on Dec 10, 2015 at 6:01am PST

Remember that film where Steve Martin falls in love with a brain? You know, the one that looks like a purple cauliflower in a jar? He takes her out on a lake in a rowing boat? Wearing a straw hat and, well, a jar? Yeah. Reminds me of something.

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Hawaiian sweet buns #foodporn #hawaiianrolls #buchty #chefsteps

A photo posted by smrzfr (@smrzfr) on Dec 11, 2015 at 4:08am PST

Sometimes the name does it all. Sweet buns, pal. Sweet hog bristle-brushed buns. Sweet, shiny doughbuns, balls.

@chefdanbarber white chocolate and marmalade cake for @guardian_cook Last Bites. Food styling Dilly Boase and Marente van der Valk. Props @grahamhollick A photo posted by Guardian Cook - food weekly (@guardian_cook) on Dec 4, 2015 at 5:55am PST

I remember lying on my back in the Southern sun, staring up at the sky with stubbled grass biting against my back, screaming out the Latin names of clouds: "Cirrus! Nimbustratos! Cumulus!" we cried, waiting to brush our hands against each others' thighs and turn our heads. I forgot aurantiaco fructum, of course. And so Rome fell.

And a confit clementine and goat's yoghurt

A photo posted by Felicity Cloake (@felicitycloake) on Dec 7, 2015 at 6:47am PST

You know at the end of a wedding? When the bride's spray tan has started to collect around her ankles and in her armpits? When the groom is soft and limp with drink? When the greasy shine of marital celebration is all over their foreheads and across their upper lips? And the bride tries to pull her dress off, from the shoulders? To reveal, inch by tantalising inch, her breasts? But instead she gets caught on an elbow and ends up sliding—arse first—down the fitted wardrobe? That's what we're looking at, isn't it? It's that, in food form. Wonderful.

Ending the day on a bittersweet note: radicchio bruschetta with taleggio and truffle honey. #testkitchen A photo posted by Ottolenghi (@ottolenghi) on Dec 10, 2015 at 8:58am PST

Sometimes toast is toast. And sometimes toast is that thing Sigourney Weaver is trying to run away from in Aliens, smothered in truffle oil.