A Complete Breakdown of This Horny Christmas Display

You think the joke is that they’re banging, but that’s just the beginning.

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Nov 22 2018, 4:36pm

Photos via Twitter user Ruth Hogg

We’re all familiar with our local mall’s holiday set up.

We see it when we’re walking by in a rush to buy out sister’s boyfriend a snuggie or just grabbing lunch at the local food court. A big tree might catch your eye, or maybe a menorah, and probably Santa Claus and some elves.

You’ll most likely look at it and go “huh, they’re really half-assing it this year” and pop in your headphones to drown out that god awful Paul McCartney Christmas song that is always playing at the mall this time of year and go about your business.

Now that said, I would like you to take a look at the display set up in the Tynwald Mills Shopping Mall in the Isle of Man who have created the only good holiday display ever.

Would you just look at that art?

These bears look like they were set up by that horny friend we all had in junior high, you know the one—they would take dolls or whatever and put them into what I can only call horny poses. There were several hits that this friend had, missionary, cowgirl, the piledriver, but the biggest—the Piano Man of their poses—was, of course, doggy style.

Now, I want you to imagine if that horny friend got ahold of your mall’s holiday display and just went to town.

For those of you who can’t pick up on the subtle nuances of this display, I’m here to help with a little bit of a breakdown for y’all. To start, if you look closely here you can clearly see the bears here fucking.

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Still with me? OK, cool, let’s move on to what you can’t see in the picture.

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So, in the corner there was a little horny voyeur bear watching the shit go down with his head cranked at the perfect angle. You can practically hear him whispering, just loud enough for the pair to hear over the slaps, “oh yeah, you really fuck my wife good, Frank.”

And here in the inverse angle, we can see a Christmas tree working as a butt plug.

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Can’t see it? Well, here’s a closer view. Siri, enhance!

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Hell yeah, keep it kinky bears!

Obviously, folks were quick to spot the bears and posted their (mostly) amusement to social media. Some saying it’s the best display they’ve ever seen, others making David Attenborough jokes. That said, the mall couldn’t leave the best darn holiday display up as some folks got a little offended at the faux fornicated bears. Thusly, the mall decided to rejig their display and issue an apology.

“We’d like to thank our customers for getting a little too into Christmas this year with our Polar Bears in the atrium and can reassure you the display has changed somewhat since setup,” said the mall on Facebook. “Apologies to anybody offended by our somewhat interactive display.”

They followed up their apology with the hastags #nightattheshoppingcentre and #naughtybear.

Naughty bears indeed, Tynwald Mills Shopping Mall… naughty bears indeed.

Follow Mack Lamoureux on Twitter.

This article originally appeared on VICE CA.

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