IRAQI FELINES
Dear Vice, I love the Iraq Issue. Being born in Baghdad yet raised in Seattle, I am learning a lot about my country through this issue, at least the stuff that matters anyway. I wanted to comment on “Baghdad Kitty” because I remember my mom telling me about the cats in Iraq. They aren’t the soft bundles of joy Raghda so graciously posts for us to enjoy… From what I understand they look more like decrepit rib cages covered with a thin layer of infected flesh and patches of fucked-up fur. Which is probably why Raghda decided to post pictures of her favorite kittens, because the ones in Iraq don’t make you feel soft and squishy inside, they make you want to vomit. Poor things. I was in Amman, Jordan, a couple years ago and witnessed a few for myself. They were lurking around a dumpster plotting to jump the next innocent victim walking by with some fresh kebab takeout. They didn’t even look like cats, more like mutated anorexic giant rats. NISREEN EL-SAADOUN
Via email Thanks, that’s really depressing. Maybe American soldiers should be mercy-killing those things. BIKE PUNK (GET IT?)
Dear Vice, I was wondering if anyone on your New York staff could recommend some good biking territory in the city or any of the boroughs. After reading The Vice Guide to NYC, I thought it might be worthwhile to ask for some good routes (in addition to all the great tips on quality boozing). I’ll be visiting New York for the first time and I’m planning on spending at least a day by myself riding around the city and trying to see some of the lesser-known and more out-of-the-way sightseeing spots (also, it would be rad if you had any suggestions for interesting places to visit). So anyway, any info you could send my way would be greatly appreciated. Also, I am aware of the difficulty in riding in Manhattan, and though I’m a messenger out here in Denver, I still assume it’s going to be a bit daunting. So if it’s possible, suggestions for more out-of-the-way spots would be helpful. Lastly, if none of this is possible, then no big whup. Thanks for all the work you do, you guys run a great mag. Sincerely, KYLE HEGGE
Denver, CO Sure, Kyle, here’s a fun little day trek some of us around the office like to make whenever we’ve got a free Sunday and the weather’s nice: If you’re starting in Manhattan, head across the Williamsburg Bridge, then follow Broadway (the Brooklyn one) east for about five miles. Hang a right on Conway Street and it’ll take you right up into Evergreen Cemetery, a prime place for a scenic afternoon picnic (just grab some sandwiches from one of the many great joints lining Bushwick Ave). From there you’ll want to head down Granville Payne Ave until it hits Linden Blvd. Take a left, then turn right at Fountain Ave and follow it about half a mile south to a quiet little inlet of Jamaica Bay that even most of the locals don’t know about. If you get out of there by late afternoon, take Flatlands Ave west until it turns into Kings Hwy, then take a left on Ocean Ave, and you should be able to hit Coney Island in time for sunset. MIND READERS?
Yo Vice, You want to spook me out a little more? I was just reading through the guide to homemade tattoos and reminiscing about when I got busted by my mom trying to put a five-pointed star on my ankle (give me a break, I was 14 and it was the 90s), and that got me wondering where I had picked up my technique. Then it occurred to me: Christiane F., one of the very movies chosen in the movies-that-made-us-want-to-do-drugs article. But that isn’t even the thing that creeped me out. What did was, the night I read that article and had that revelation, I went over to my gay friend’s house to hang out, and what had just arrived from Netflix and was blaring from his TV when I walked in? Oh, just Christiane fucking F. AND THEN, what’s the first thing he starts talking to me about? I don’t know, just the straight guy he works with who he’s been trying to “convert” for the past two weeks. And, no, he hadn’t seen the issue and was just trying to mess with me. It was genuinely nutz. Anyways, you probably didn’t try to set up all those tie-ins, but if you did, congrats. You wigged the living shit out of me (for a couple minutes). Keep up the stuff, HELEN BARLINGTON
San Jose, CA Carl Jung called that “synchronicity.” We call it “having our finger on the zeitgeist of the pulse of today’s valuable, trendsetting 18- to 24-year-old demographic in this current cultural moment.” That’s how we know that you should listen to nothing but the Smiths and call everything “stoops” and “randers.” Oh, wait—don’t. NUTS FOR GUNS
Hey Vice, Could you do a Gun Issue? I know there are hundreds of gun mags out there tailored to homicidal wannabes and backwoods crazies but I think the views your mag has on guns would be boss. And who could resist going in the woods, throwing a few back, and unloading a couple of clips into some old dishes? Have you ever shot an AK? You have no clue what you’re missing. Oh, and kudos for the last few issues (fiction, girls, Iraq, etc.). Your mag is the closest thing to cool I can get here in Ohio. IAN FITCH
Via email We aren’t doing themes anymore for a while. And while we are also fans of firearms, we’ve done enough on them lately. Go to VBS.tv and watch the episode of Americana where we hang out at our favorite range. PS: Shooting AKs is wildly overrated. It’s for day-trippers who want to go, “I shot a big crazy gun.” Just focus on perfecting your 9mm handling and aim. MAPQUESTER
Dear Vice, Man, you guys kill me. Tell your line editors (or whatever you call the people who do this) to watch out for whoever did that “Marathon in Heels” map. Brooklyn is not separate from Long Island, nor is Queens—they are all on the SAME PIECE OF LAND. Whoever did the map apparently lives in a bizarre reality where Long Island is a separate landmass that resides below the isle of Manhattan. I realize that you all must work very hard on the “Big Concept” and I am just being an anal-retentive dork, but whoever doesn’t know this basic piece of geography and has a creative role in your magazine is in my eyes probably a major queef, or a European. It’s especially bad since you guys always hang out with or talk about people who reside in Brooklyn. I mean if I had to make a goofy map of Mexico City for some reason, I would feel obliged to look at another map first before blindly guessing at what it must be shaped like. But I guess if all I knew about this city was, like, getting coked up at “scene” parties and taking cabs then maybe I wouldn’t really have a good idea what the city I fucking lived in looked like either. TERENCE MINERBROOK
Via email Wow. How long were you smirking after hitting the send button on this little nugget of genius? Since we’re guessing that the idea of glancing at an “actual” map of New York wasn’t any more likely to occur to you after calling us out on our geography than before (or even just looking carefully at our map), we will simply spell it out for you: That is Staten Island, you fucking, fucking, fucking idiot. CHEMICAL WAR NOT FAIR
Dear Vice, Your issue about Iraq is really great. Outside of blogs, it’s impossible to get comprehensive and personal information about the terrible situation in Iraq provided by the Iraqis themselves. The pictures at the bottom of the article “Weapons of Mass Bewilderment” reminded me of a gruesome documentary I saw a while ago, Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre. It’s about the use of white phosphorus (or WP) by US forces on Iraqi fighters and civilians in Fallujah in November 2004. WP is a chemical incendiary that can be used as a marking device, a smoke screen, or a weapon that melts skin. Watching the documentary again I noticed that one reporter interviewed even mentions its probable use at the Baghdad airport and the toxic dust that had to be cleaned up. The US State Department denied using WP as a weapon after this film was released, but later the Pentagon admitted to its use against entrenched combatants in Fallujah and other areas. Basically white phosphorus will burn exposed skin, sometimes right down to the bone. It’s like napalm but not illegal under UN regulations. In some cases WP can burn a whole body without even charring the victim’s clothes. It looks like WP killed those people in the article and the descriptions of blinding explosions could have been of WP artillery shells exploding. You can watch the whole documentary on YouTube. People need to know that the US military has and continues to use CHEMICAL FUCKING WEAPONS against Iraqis. General Peter Pace, current chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said about WP, “It is not a chemical weapon. It is an incendiary. And it is well within the law of war to use those weapons as they’re being used, for marking and for screening.” Please watch the documentary and decide for yourself. DANIEL TEPPER
Boston, MA You’re probably trying to get a plug in for your friend’s movie or something, but fuck it. It sounds interesting. A RARE BREED
Dear Vice, I was totally with you on your first nonthemed issue and was enjoying all the articles and everything—right up until the fashion section when I was forced by the presence of fucking GUY-ON-GUY PORN to throw the magazine on the floor where it remains, untouched, to this day. Need I even say What the fuck? It’s one thing to have a bunch of chicks romping around with one another (as is Richard Kern’s forte) or to throw a couple of guys into the mix, but who other than fags wants to be forced to stare at a pair of bony, white skaters fagging around in their underwear. Other fags, that’s who. You guys probably think you’re all being “ironic” and really “mind-fucking” your readership, but I hope you enjoy it when nobody straight ever touches your magazine again. Cause it’s happening real soon. TROY A.
Cincinnati, OH Wow, guys like you really exist? We always thought that homophobes were kind of a made-up thing that people only talked about in college classes, but one photo of two guys kissing upset you so bad that you chucked the magazine across the room and then wrote us a letter? You’re crazy and we hope you get raped by a gang of gay-rape guys.In North America send correspondence to vice@viceland.com (include city and state/province) or mail to Vice Magazine, 97 North 10th Street, Suite 202, Brooklyn, NY 11211. Letters are edited for length.
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](mailto:stuff@viceaustralia.com)Letters are edited for length._**
Dear Vice, I love the Iraq Issue. Being born in Baghdad yet raised in Seattle, I am learning a lot about my country through this issue, at least the stuff that matters anyway. I wanted to comment on “Baghdad Kitty” because I remember my mom telling me about the cats in Iraq. They aren’t the soft bundles of joy Raghda so graciously posts for us to enjoy… From what I understand they look more like decrepit rib cages covered with a thin layer of infected flesh and patches of fucked-up fur. Which is probably why Raghda decided to post pictures of her favorite kittens, because the ones in Iraq don’t make you feel soft and squishy inside, they make you want to vomit. Poor things. I was in Amman, Jordan, a couple years ago and witnessed a few for myself. They were lurking around a dumpster plotting to jump the next innocent victim walking by with some fresh kebab takeout. They didn’t even look like cats, more like mutated anorexic giant rats. NISREEN EL-SAADOUN
Via email Thanks, that’s really depressing. Maybe American soldiers should be mercy-killing those things. BIKE PUNK (GET IT?)
Dear Vice, I was wondering if anyone on your New York staff could recommend some good biking territory in the city or any of the boroughs. After reading The Vice Guide to NYC, I thought it might be worthwhile to ask for some good routes (in addition to all the great tips on quality boozing). I’ll be visiting New York for the first time and I’m planning on spending at least a day by myself riding around the city and trying to see some of the lesser-known and more out-of-the-way sightseeing spots (also, it would be rad if you had any suggestions for interesting places to visit). So anyway, any info you could send my way would be greatly appreciated. Also, I am aware of the difficulty in riding in Manhattan, and though I’m a messenger out here in Denver, I still assume it’s going to be a bit daunting. So if it’s possible, suggestions for more out-of-the-way spots would be helpful. Lastly, if none of this is possible, then no big whup. Thanks for all the work you do, you guys run a great mag. Sincerely, KYLE HEGGE
Denver, CO Sure, Kyle, here’s a fun little day trek some of us around the office like to make whenever we’ve got a free Sunday and the weather’s nice: If you’re starting in Manhattan, head across the Williamsburg Bridge, then follow Broadway (the Brooklyn one) east for about five miles. Hang a right on Conway Street and it’ll take you right up into Evergreen Cemetery, a prime place for a scenic afternoon picnic (just grab some sandwiches from one of the many great joints lining Bushwick Ave). From there you’ll want to head down Granville Payne Ave until it hits Linden Blvd. Take a left, then turn right at Fountain Ave and follow it about half a mile south to a quiet little inlet of Jamaica Bay that even most of the locals don’t know about. If you get out of there by late afternoon, take Flatlands Ave west until it turns into Kings Hwy, then take a left on Ocean Ave, and you should be able to hit Coney Island in time for sunset. MIND READERS?
Yo Vice, You want to spook me out a little more? I was just reading through the guide to homemade tattoos and reminiscing about when I got busted by my mom trying to put a five-pointed star on my ankle (give me a break, I was 14 and it was the 90s), and that got me wondering where I had picked up my technique. Then it occurred to me: Christiane F., one of the very movies chosen in the movies-that-made-us-want-to-do-drugs article. But that isn’t even the thing that creeped me out. What did was, the night I read that article and had that revelation, I went over to my gay friend’s house to hang out, and what had just arrived from Netflix and was blaring from his TV when I walked in? Oh, just Christiane fucking F. AND THEN, what’s the first thing he starts talking to me about? I don’t know, just the straight guy he works with who he’s been trying to “convert” for the past two weeks. And, no, he hadn’t seen the issue and was just trying to mess with me. It was genuinely nutz. Anyways, you probably didn’t try to set up all those tie-ins, but if you did, congrats. You wigged the living shit out of me (for a couple minutes). Keep up the stuff, HELEN BARLINGTON
San Jose, CA Carl Jung called that “synchronicity.” We call it “having our finger on the zeitgeist of the pulse of today’s valuable, trendsetting 18- to 24-year-old demographic in this current cultural moment.” That’s how we know that you should listen to nothing but the Smiths and call everything “stoops” and “randers.” Oh, wait—don’t. NUTS FOR GUNS
Hey Vice, Could you do a Gun Issue? I know there are hundreds of gun mags out there tailored to homicidal wannabes and backwoods crazies but I think the views your mag has on guns would be boss. And who could resist going in the woods, throwing a few back, and unloading a couple of clips into some old dishes? Have you ever shot an AK? You have no clue what you’re missing. Oh, and kudos for the last few issues (fiction, girls, Iraq, etc.). Your mag is the closest thing to cool I can get here in Ohio. IAN FITCH
Via email We aren’t doing themes anymore for a while. And while we are also fans of firearms, we’ve done enough on them lately. Go to VBS.tv and watch the episode of Americana where we hang out at our favorite range. PS: Shooting AKs is wildly overrated. It’s for day-trippers who want to go, “I shot a big crazy gun.” Just focus on perfecting your 9mm handling and aim. MAPQUESTER
Dear Vice, Man, you guys kill me. Tell your line editors (or whatever you call the people who do this) to watch out for whoever did that “Marathon in Heels” map. Brooklyn is not separate from Long Island, nor is Queens—they are all on the SAME PIECE OF LAND. Whoever did the map apparently lives in a bizarre reality where Long Island is a separate landmass that resides below the isle of Manhattan. I realize that you all must work very hard on the “Big Concept” and I am just being an anal-retentive dork, but whoever doesn’t know this basic piece of geography and has a creative role in your magazine is in my eyes probably a major queef, or a European. It’s especially bad since you guys always hang out with or talk about people who reside in Brooklyn. I mean if I had to make a goofy map of Mexico City for some reason, I would feel obliged to look at another map first before blindly guessing at what it must be shaped like. But I guess if all I knew about this city was, like, getting coked up at “scene” parties and taking cabs then maybe I wouldn’t really have a good idea what the city I fucking lived in looked like either. TERENCE MINERBROOK
Via email Wow. How long were you smirking after hitting the send button on this little nugget of genius? Since we’re guessing that the idea of glancing at an “actual” map of New York wasn’t any more likely to occur to you after calling us out on our geography than before (or even just looking carefully at our map), we will simply spell it out for you: That is Staten Island, you fucking, fucking, fucking idiot. CHEMICAL WAR NOT FAIR
Dear Vice, Your issue about Iraq is really great. Outside of blogs, it’s impossible to get comprehensive and personal information about the terrible situation in Iraq provided by the Iraqis themselves. The pictures at the bottom of the article “Weapons of Mass Bewilderment” reminded me of a gruesome documentary I saw a while ago, Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre. It’s about the use of white phosphorus (or WP) by US forces on Iraqi fighters and civilians in Fallujah in November 2004. WP is a chemical incendiary that can be used as a marking device, a smoke screen, or a weapon that melts skin. Watching the documentary again I noticed that one reporter interviewed even mentions its probable use at the Baghdad airport and the toxic dust that had to be cleaned up. The US State Department denied using WP as a weapon after this film was released, but later the Pentagon admitted to its use against entrenched combatants in Fallujah and other areas. Basically white phosphorus will burn exposed skin, sometimes right down to the bone. It’s like napalm but not illegal under UN regulations. In some cases WP can burn a whole body without even charring the victim’s clothes. It looks like WP killed those people in the article and the descriptions of blinding explosions could have been of WP artillery shells exploding. You can watch the whole documentary on YouTube. People need to know that the US military has and continues to use CHEMICAL FUCKING WEAPONS against Iraqis. General Peter Pace, current chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said about WP, “It is not a chemical weapon. It is an incendiary. And it is well within the law of war to use those weapons as they’re being used, for marking and for screening.” Please watch the documentary and decide for yourself. DANIEL TEPPER
Boston, MA You’re probably trying to get a plug in for your friend’s movie or something, but fuck it. It sounds interesting. A RARE BREED
Dear Vice, I was totally with you on your first nonthemed issue and was enjoying all the articles and everything—right up until the fashion section when I was forced by the presence of fucking GUY-ON-GUY PORN to throw the magazine on the floor where it remains, untouched, to this day. Need I even say What the fuck? It’s one thing to have a bunch of chicks romping around with one another (as is Richard Kern’s forte) or to throw a couple of guys into the mix, but who other than fags wants to be forced to stare at a pair of bony, white skaters fagging around in their underwear. Other fags, that’s who. You guys probably think you’re all being “ironic” and really “mind-fucking” your readership, but I hope you enjoy it when nobody straight ever touches your magazine again. Cause it’s happening real soon. TROY A.
Cincinnati, OH Wow, guys like you really exist? We always thought that homophobes were kind of a made-up thing that people only talked about in college classes, but one photo of two guys kissing upset you so bad that you chucked the magazine across the room and then wrote us a letter? You’re crazy and we hope you get raped by a gang of gay-rape guys.
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