Billy Corben

this week in Florida

A Violent Stripper, a Crazy Naked Man, and 4,000 Pounds of Cocaine

Police responded to a call about a naked man on a Tarpon Springs golf course. But when they got there, the golf course was bare, too. The naked man attacked a 7-Eleven clerk and led cops on a car chase before being apprehended.
Billy Corben
12.13.12
this week in Florida

Titty Twisters and Striptease Turkeys

Sorry I went Earl Sweatshirt on you for a few months. But I'm back. You haven't missed much—just babies getting their nipples twisted off, strip clubs giving away turkeys, a ton of cocaine, and ladies riding manatees.
Billy Corben
11.28.12
News

Florida's Election Hangover

By about 11:15 PM, the election was over and Floridians were still voting. On the bright side, that meant Florida didn't even have a chance to fuck this one up. In fact, many Floridians missed the election results because they were still in line...
Billy Corben
11.7.12
News

Voting in Florida: Not a Total Shit Show... Yet

It's ludicrous that Election Day isn't a national holiday. A friend who was called for jury duty was told by a clerk that voting is not a legitimate excuse to miss it. You can only perform one civic duty at a time, so vote today and risk contempt of...
Billy Corben
11.6.12
News

Voter Disenfranchisement in South Florida

After a sordid and chaotic early voting process, the international media is anticipating that Election Day in Florida will be a spectacular debacle. Once again, a state that cannot get its own shit together will be instrumental in determining the...
Billy Corben
11.6.12
this week in Florida

Square Groupers and Manatee Orgies

It was a big week for Florida, with voter fraud, donkey fucking, 15-pound bricks of weed, and marine scientists pleading with Floridians to stop interrupting manatee orgies. Tempting though it may be.
Billy Corben
9.24.12
News

This Week in Florida - Citrus Herpes, Pill Doctor Sex Parties, and Some Good News for Once

In 2000, in a supposed effort to curb the spread of a fruit-blemishing disease called canker, the Department of Agriculture sent Citrus Stormtroopers to bully their way into citizens’ yards and cut down their citrus trees regardless of whether or not...
Billy Corben
9.17.12
News

Griselda Blanco: So Long and Thanks for All the Cocaine

Griselda Blanco was killed outside a butcher shop in Colombia yesterday when two men on a motorcycle put two bullets into her head. Despite the location, this was unlikely a beef about beef (zing!), and probably had more to do with the scores of people...
Billy Corben
9.4.12
News

This Week In Florida - Seagulls, Sandwiches, Prostitution, and the RNC

This week, the county reached a settlement with a woman who was hit by a Volusia Beach Patrol truck in 2010. The patrolman veered his Ford pickup out of the travel lanes and rolled over the lady’s beach chair, breaking her leg and injuring her chest...
Billy Corben
9.3.12
News

This Week in Florida - Tampa Police Pretty Sure Republicans Like Prostitutes

Tampa strip clubs and hookers are expecting big business during convention week. In anticipation of this, Tampa police mounted (no pun intended) an undercover crackdown on prostitution in 12 area strip clubs, resulting in 16 arrests.
Billy Corben
8.27.12
News

This Week in Florida - Mitt Romney Hangs with a Cocaine Smuggler

Mitt Romney campaigned at a Miami restaurant owned by a convicted cocaine smuggler. A man attacked his girlfriend with a hammer because she tried to convince him to vote. Jackmeoff Mudd, was arrested by Broward Sheriff’s officers for assault...
Billy Corben
8.18.12
News

This Week in Florida - Our Lawmakers Are Terrible at Making Laws

For the past several months Floridians have wondered if our state legislature accomplished anything during the 2012 recent session. Initially, it seemed they didn’t do much at all beyond slashing higher education funds and furthering the agendas of...
Billy Corben
8.11.12
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