If This Car Could Talk

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If This Car Could Talk

I rode shotgun with the driver and proprietor of an electric blue limousine in Buenos Aires and photographed the brides and perverts in the back.

Over several weeks last year, I rode shotgun with Jhonni, driver and proprietor of an electric blue limousine in Buenos Aires. This 40-year-old Colombian, previously a tennis coach and gym owner, told me that he left it all behind when offered the chance to buy this 1972 Ford Fairlane. To its 8 seats, 4 doors, and cream leather interior, Johnni has added a table, a hefty sound system, and a horn that simulates the sound of a mewling cat. Although the previous owner didn’t offer any proof, word has it that the car originally belonged to the fleet of Juan Domingo Perón. For the last ten years Johnni has offered his services for birthday parties, bachelorette parties, wedding celebrations, and orgies that steam up the tinted windows. He also claims to have once picked up Diego Maradona. More than superstars, the people I shared the limo with were everyday types: romantic boyfriends, middle class office workers pretending to be rock stars for a night, parents from humble backgrounds who had saved for months to be able to give their daughters a fairytale Quinceañeraand 30-something-year-olds horny for simulated sex with a male stripper. The next guest to ride in the limo, free of charge I assume, will be Jhonni’s 21-year-old son Martín, who is about to be released from prison after three years.

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Jhonni makes a habit of stopping off a few blocks away from his pick-ups to give the 1972 Ford a quick polish. It doesn’t matter if he’s been hired by a politician en route to a five-star hotel or a group wasted kids coming out of a club; he always arrive

Laura and Belén, twins, are headed to their Quinceañera dressed in pink princess dresses. That night they were to celebrate the rite that has roots in Aztec and Mayan civilization and involves dancing a waltz with their father, eating roasted meat, and dr

This stripper and professional dancer who goes by the name of Marcos is waiting for eight ladies to arrive. He’ll spend the next two hours entertaining them for a bachelorette party. Although no sex went down, there was a lot of touching and screaming. He

A group of girls celebrate Romina’s bachelorette night. After this, I don’t think Jhonni or I will ever forget the chorus of the awful "Loca People" by Sak Noel and Pitbull.

Leila, single mother of two, is 23 and works from time to time as a stripper for stag parties to make ends meet.

Friday night and there’s a bachelor party for Rodrigo. The screams and sighs went on for an hour.

Besides socks and knickers, office parties sometimes leave behind weirder items. Like this sex doll.

The car, christened after Henry Ford’s Michigan mansion, and where Diego Armando Maradona once sat, heads home after a hard day’s night in the south of greater Buenos Aires.