Cornerstore Cocktails

CORNERSHOP COCKTAILS - THE RECIPE

They may be the flamboyant, high-maintenance gay man of the alcohol world, but that doesn't mean cocktails can't be made for the common scumbag like you and I. So, with a bit of imagination and some non-kitchen ingredients, you can get crunk on cavity-inducing hooch, too. Jambrini Royale

Ingredients
plop x strawberry jam
shot x vodka
lots x Lambrini Step 1.

Dollop some jam into a champagne flute.

Step 2.

Swig in a shot of vodka to break up the jam.

Step 3.

Top up with your fizzy slag piss.

Step 4.

For a finishing touch, smear you rim with more jam. Martini Puppy

Ingredients
lots x fresh pineapple
lots x Mad Dog 20/20
ice for crushing
even more vodka Step 1.

Blend your pineapple in a, umm, blender.

Step 2.

Crush some ice and fill a martini glass.

Step 3.

Slop over pineapple sludge.

Step 4.

Finish by topping with vodka and Mad Dog. Creme De Mouthwash

Ingredients
1 x bottle of vanilla milkshake
1 x capful of mint mouthwash
1 x bottle of WKD Blue Step 1.

Pour vanilla milkshake into any old jar.

Step 2.

Add a capful… or shot of minty mouthwash.

Step 3.

Empty in your bottle of WKD.

Step 4.

Shake vigorously.

Step 5.

Put into a fancy glass.

Bottoms up to your trio of cornershop cocktails. Happy buttfucking, y'all!

JOANNA FUERTES-KNIGHT

@fuertesknight

Previously: Girl Eats Food - Olympic Energy Nachos

Really fucking hungry? Check out Joanna Fuertes-Knight's (totally free) online cookbook! It's got every Girl Eats Food recipe ever in it.