Someone Just Took a Shit in the Lobby at Westminster Magistrates Court

Today, at Westminster Magistrates Court, duty solicitor Marianna Christou stepped out of Court 7 and narrowly avoided stepping into a pile of human shit. Marianna tweeted about her ordeal, which caused a small ripple of outrage. I asked Marianna exactly what happened.

VICE: Hi Marianna – so, today. You found some human faeces besmirching the hallowed halls of British justice.
Marianna: Hi. I did! But I didn't take a picture unfortunately.

Well could you describe the scene for me?
Oh my God, that's absurd. Okay, so it's basically like a tiled floor, and it was just sort of in lumps along the floor. Somebody had put cones up but it was quite spaced out so you had to sort of manoeuvre around the cones. And it was there for quite a while – a good hour – because nobody thought to clean it, and it smelt!

Where exactly was it?
In the lobby, right outside Court 7, along the floor going up to Court 6. It was where people wait outside on the chairs to be called into court.

When was this?
I came up at about 3PM, so it would have been between sort of half two, three o'clock – in the afternoon.

So you almost stepped in it?
Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

So what were you doing at court?
I'm a duty solicitor. I was on court duty today for Court 7, so I was running up and down from the cells. It appeared between 2.30 and 3PM. I asked another solicitor, "What the hell is this?!" – because obviously everyone was talking about it – and she said that she'd heard there was a homeless man who had done it as he was walking and it sort of fell down his trousers.

Did anyone corroborate this theory? Could it not have been a dirty protest? Or an animal?
It was not an animal!

And anyone can go into that part of the building, right?
Yeah, it's the public gallery, anyone can go in and watch cases. I'm not sure if he was a defendant or if he was there maybe for the warmth or whatever.

Have you ever found a shit in court before?
I don't think it's ever happened before. Ever. I tweeted about it and my Twitter has blown up like never before. It is absurd. It's literally going viral – I can't believe I could be infamous for seeing a shit on the floor. It's just crazy.

At least it's made your day less boring?
Yeah, I suppose. It's the most interesting thing that's ever happened at Westminster!

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