
Advertisement

At some point in my reaction to this profoundly unsettling stalk, a local guy walked over and asked me why I thought Ugandan birds were so funny. I answered his question with one of my own ("Why does your country have pterodactyls?"), then explained that I wasn't psychotically laughing because the bird was amusing, I was laughing because something ancient in my genes told me the bird was the devil. I thought in my regressive superstitious state we might share a moment of root-level human communion—which is, again, possibly racist—but he just placed his hand on my forehead in a gesture that may have been more patronizing if he wasn't eight feet taller than me and completely unfazed by the waist-high garbage dragon lurching toward us. Then again, East Africans also do that thing where you shake their hand and they just hold it for the length of the conversation, so who knows? Anyway, I'm getting away from my point, which is storks, which are filth-encrusted Lovecraftian nightmare birds.These are what bring us our babies? These things should not be bringing anyone babies. Especially Africans. I mean, after all they've already been through? Christ.@Babyballs69
