This story is over 5 years old.

The VICE Guide to Right Now

A South Dakota Man Shot Himself in the Dick and Blamed It on a 'Black Guy'

When are men going to learn that you put your illegal handgun into the back of your pants?
Manisha Krishnan
Toronto, CA
September 28, 2015, 6:25pm

Shooting yourself in the penis: just don't do it. Photo via Flickr user Robert Couse-Baker

Read: Canada's Tinder Men Are Annoying Black Women with Their Racist and Sexist Bullshit

A convicted felon from South Dakota who didn't want to own up to shooting himself in the dick has been arrested for falsely blaming the incident on "a black guy."

Donald Watson, 43, was taken to a hospital in Sioux Falls at around 1:30 in the afternoon of September 6 for a gunshot wound to his penis, according to media reports. When asked how the cringe-inducing injury came to be, Watson replied that he'd been shot by a black man who tried to rob him while he was taking out the trash.


After finding zero evidence of a shooting near Watson's trash cans, the cops spoke to a neighbor who reported hearing anguished screams coming from inside Watson's home earlier in the night.

Police later found traces of bullets and an empty gun case inside the apartment. They questioned Watson again, at which point he 'fessed up to accidentally firing the weapon himself while trying to purchase a gun. As a convicted felon—Watson is not legally allowed to own a firearm.

After undergoing surgery to repair his penis, Watson was grilled by authorities a third time. He said the gun went off when he put it in his pocket but refused to reveal the location of the firearm or the identity of its dealer.

He is now facing charges of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of a firearm by a drug offender, false report of a crime to law enforcement, and false report of information to law enforcement.

Watson is likely embarrassed about the mishap, but he's certainly not alone. In fact, shooting yourself in the penis is such A Thing, there's a special tourniquet designed to stop groin wounds from bleeding out.

Follow Manisha Krishnan on Twitter.